Topic Tuesday // Exploring Loneliness // Tues 18 Sep, 7pm AEDT

[TAB]

Yes isolation comes at a cost and seems to progress with age @Former-Member @Jonty8 I made choices to be away/be alone and am mostly ok with it just never imagined I’d be totally alone as well as physically on own

[Deepsea]

me too

[Pinky]

I find my hobbies keep me interacting off-line also. Even if I go to lapidary and keep my head down, I know someone will show me a smile. I am fortunate that in my little country town, we have a lot of community groups to volunteer at for this as well. They are alwasy happy to have help and that often fills my desire to be 'valued' when I don't have the energy stores to value myself. It also helps as not wanting to let people down gets me out of the house, whether I want to or not.

[MoonGal]

A quick addition - when I worked full time, I also volunteered on weekends or evenings. I do volunteer work from home helping a little NGO with graphic design, look after their wesbite, do a bit of fundraising online etc - and that is great and makes me feel useful in the world, BUT - apart from occaisional emails with the people there, it is no substitiute for personal connection. So, really it is the people factor, yet when I think about most people, I really couldn't be bothered getting involved, volunteering would HAVE to be based around shared interest like environment, animals, politics... so we can talk without personal sharing too much.

[Jonty8]

I'm curious as to whether anyone here has given this a shot and make new friendships this way?

I have volunteered before and found it quite helpful. Several years ago I started going to my local Buddhist society to learn meditation. After a while, I started volunteering in the library there and made several friends. Unfortunately, volunteering takes commitment and due to the episodic nature of my mental illness, my ability to commit changes. I stopped doing it after a long spell of depression and have kinda burnt that bridge. 

[TAB]

I tried volunteering years ago and it was to try and change careers @Former-Member and no it didn’t result in friendship just gave me a routine that was good tho

[greenpea]

@Former-Member@Pinky@Deepsea@Former-Member@everyone I have to get son into his bed. Nice talking to you all. Particularly you @TABs you are a dear friend don't forget it.

[Deepsea]

Failed at volunteering! They gave me a job to do in isolation at home!!!!!!!

[utopia]

@Former-Member I didn't  volunteer,  but I finally  bit the bullet and joined a group.  My psychologist  said I needed a social group.  So I finally found something  I liked - African Drumming.  Was so excited.  Went to fist session.  Was very nervous  but I made it through and decided I could join this group.  They felt safe.  But since then,  there hasn't been any classes.  Accident, injury, illnesses have prevented classes from starting.  I was looking forward not just to the drumming (which is very relaxing)  - but to mixing and meeting the people. 

[Teej]

Just thought I’d drop in. This topic is hugely messy for me. 

I think it’s hard as many members have mentioned in that planning to go out in advance and being able to make it on the day are difficult. I think ive self imposed not having friendships much until I’m more reliable. I think that having nothing to say or common point to talk about is very isolating, and for me I feel more shame and so avoid that by avoiding socialising. 

In my head I think I have this point that when I’m okay enough I will socialise again. But I think my reality will be different to that. I think the socioeconomic costs of dealing with my mental health also are a barrier to socialising.