@Former-MemberOur lives and families are really different, but I could tell the intensity of MI was high.
The most delusional stuff I had to deal with, with conspiracies and strange science stuff came from my ex-husband. I had just come the year before from a good uni and we met through a friend doing a Phd in inorganic chem.
With my dad, I mainly figured out his story through research and hindsight. I did not have to deal with his delusional thinking. He was kind to me but dead by the time I was 11. It is part of the reason I normalise MI in that when I really got to thinking about him as a father and analysing Sz it did not all add up. With my mother there was delusional thinking hidden in religious exhortations, which is why I dont do preaching or quotations but have a deep theological bias. That was the most damaging longterm for me.
My sister had a few rants about delusional stuff .. but it was still in the realm of conversation and us working through our childhood separations ... it was not over the top and I would have put up with more if she were still alive ... she attacked me once, and I just submitted to it as I was a bit older and bigger til she was done ... and said I still loved her, but when things happened around mother ... serious escalation occurred. They were the 4 who were apparently on Sz spectrum. Mother/father sister/exhusband.
My brother did not seem delusional. He was more angry and focussed most of it on my mother, which made me try and stand up for her and things became twisted, but he also struggled to do the right thing but in the end was a mess of warring emotions. More a BPD presentation before there was DBT. He would not have done the DBT. I was therapy focussed partly due to the conversations I had with y sister. She believed in it. I would not have trusted therapists much at all, but then I managed to get a very good education in it all, so believed in the concepts even if feeling trust was not easy.
Dad died due to overmedication and pneumonia. Mother not medicated. Brother was not medicated except during admissions. Sister medicated the most, but she died within a few years. It was before the years of depot injections. So is it better that people last a long time or suffer less ... Sorry pressed lips time ... not for me to answer. We are all unique.
My ex wanted my to help to get off meds and we noticed how the mother of my eldest was on her depot over the last 30 years, clinging, whiney, happily delusional and a big PAIN.
I still see things mainly in terms of access to resources. My family died off and others getting the help ... what I have had to go through to get help is shocking ... but at least I do have a MH team. I had no support at all when I joined the forum. My good GP became ill and my story is complicated.
You are a nurse. My current GP said my neck was just due to wear and tear from a casual glance at history. I felt shocked at that assessment. I asked her to please to look fully at my records. I could not have possibly gone through 10++ years of severe crippling pain with just wear and tear. The disc bulges and osteophytes are very obvious, but maybe she did not look at the imagery. NOW after 10 years of rehab exercises and being super careful, with oseo guidance and making all my life decisions around limiting serious neck flare ups ... my quality of life is bearable. I felt insulted by her statement as if I was making it up and now she is just focussing too much on my mental health not overall health. If we cant sort that out it will compromise my trust with her.
Re your son ... my son tells me I am irresponsible for things I have looked after for 30 years. It is shocking the level of confidence the young, these days, have to tell their parents off. I cant argue .. no energy or breathe for it. Too many blocks and games on my needs let alone wishes,
I guess you can only ask .. if your son refuses to do it ... it effects future plans. I think that is why the SKI was invented. I was so naive I was shocked when I first heard about Spending the Kid's Inheritance, but that was from an adult student 15 years ago. I have decided to go to a few more movies and shows this year ... rather than tighten the purse strings on me. I will help my son learn to regulate his food. money and relationships ... GI GO ... garbage in garbage out.
OMG @Former-Member Sorry that was a long response. Hope it was not too much a rant or off topic.
