Apprehension aside, i Left dad alone last night & went to the annual Regional Anglican Women's Conference / dinner. It was so well organised! Great food, good speaket... Felt like home again. Several of these ppl & chch seem to go out of their way to be nice to me. I don't understand why they're different
Anyway, the thing is - dad was fine for the x3hrs i left him alone - even got up to unlock the door for me when the dogs kicked a fuss at my return. He was glad to see me. I left a banana on the coffee table for him in case he got peckish, but even though he'd have to get up to get it, he did 🙂 - makes me smile. He wouldn't think of it if out of sight. Makes me smile. Nobody rang or visited he said. Dad can't find the tv Channel button but i left a good action channel on for him. Was actually surprised he was still up when i got home but he soon went to bed. Big day after his physio & a niece visiting.
Bro3&4 are VERY quiet, hope its not the calm before the storm. They get cross I don't visit them apparently - even bro2 has expressed this. How can i when they verbally abuse me like they do. I have dropped in once or twice since arriving this time (x3 months), but how am i to drag dad around & pretend I actually WANT to put myself in harms way deliberately, on their turf... And dad doesn't want to visit them when i ask.
Its confusing to me how they 'go off' at ya one minute (really angry, swearing and false allegations etc) then expect a 'normal' relationship... I just wanna stay away from it.
Hmm, Maybe this is what my spitefil sister is doing with me (the deathly silent treatment again), dince i called her out over lies and pending guardianship hearing back stab / grab... Yes i may have an MI too but i'm quite capable of being dad's carer since nobody else could or would move in with him...
Oh, now bro3 has blown his 5k mum gave him (on the pokies) and i changed the locks here... he wants to push me out & move in 😕 But i think it would be for the money etc & not for dad. And those paranoid delusions (lazer beam thing) incopacitates him some days. And he gets sooo angry and selfish... Even dad shakes his head when he visits with his long frustrated stories. I asked dad (after the police thing ) if he'd rather bro3 moved in? He was clear " no, i don't want him here " he said.
Oh, Did i mention bro3&4 smoke, and smoke dope regularly too? and he's always broke?
Anyway, i'm not perfectly sane either, but no psychosis (dr tells me), and kinda doing pretty good really, the better person for the job atm - while i can cope. Self doubt does creaps in often, practical /moral support from my 'earth family' would be so nice, not opposition... but yes, well, dream on...
At least the local anglican church are supportive, and some rekindled cousins and you guys here . . . Thanks
