Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

You forgot my birthday how dare you?

you are acting strange to me, why?

 What have I done this time?

you are supposed to be my mum

you don't call me anymore 

well I have feelings too 

and I really don't care anymore 

you've hurt me so many times

parts of me is hurting 

parts of me doesn't care 

i bet you don't forget the others 

oh no that's right you don't 

and in a few days it's your turn

shouid I forget yours 

I really should to show you 

how much pain you've caused 

but I won't forget your day 

because I'm not like you 

I'm just a better person 

that you don't like me too

I really don't understand how 

you have gone through this week 

and not know it was my birthday 

well I don't care 

you only care about the others 

sll the time that's what you've done 

you've left me out all the time 

I think you don't love me anymore 

because of my childhood abuse 

it really wasn't my fault 

but maybe it was 

I don't care 

but I do 

I really don't care 

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  💙💙💙💙💙💙

[BlueBay]

thanks @Maggie 

i keep reflecting about my birthday and lack of love from my parents.

it hurts

i know i have a beautiful family of my own

and a granddaughter that i so much love and cherish

but ...... there is still something in me that is very disappointed and the feeling of unloved is really getting to me

i just can't work it out, maybe i never will.  

[Maggie]

It’s only a teardrop 

So fragile and so small

Its only a teardrop 

Why can’t I let it fall

Maybe it’s a symbol 

Of pain deep down inside 

Maybe it’s the pain

I still prefer to hide

I know if I let it leek

It soon becomes a creek

With memories held behind a dam

Soon flooding down my cheek

Thought tears are flowing from my eyes

With rivers soon to start

I feel they come not from my eyes

But come straight from my heart

Its only a teardrop 

Why can’t I let it fall

I guess because deep down inside

Its not small after all.

[Former-Member]

peace

all around me

in my heart

not torn apart

farewell my friends

take care x

[Snowie]

@Former-Member 

Are you ok?

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @Former-Member I'm a bit worried about you after what you posted. I'm sending you an email to check in 🌻

[Snowie]

@Maggie beautiful words hun 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Snowie @Tortoiseshell 

I'm good, thank you. I feel peaceful and a little sad. I thinking about having a break from the forum and I wanted to leave with a little poem of peace.

I'm listening to Welcome to Wonderland:

Welcome to Wonderland
We've got it all
Potions and pastries that make you grow tall
Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk

Welcome to Wonderland
Look where you're at
Maddest of hatters
The Cheshire Cat
Magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks

Dancing through a dream
Underneath the stars
Laughing 'til the morning comes
Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart
Oh, Wonderland I love

Welcome to Wonderland
I'll be your guide
Holding your hand under sapphire skies
Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk

Welcome to Wonderland
Where should we go?
There's a tea party along down the road
Make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song

Dancing through a dream
Underneath the stars
Laughing 'til the morning comes
Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart
Oh, Wonderland I love

Nothing around here is quite
As it seems
Not sure if anything is real
Or a dream
And the only thing sure from the start
Is the song that's inside of your heart
Don't let it leave

If this was a dream
Then at least I've got
Memories for when morning comes
Now that I must leave with a heavy heart
Oh, Wonderland I love

I love this song 💛 xox

[Define_normal]

Pretty little girl with light brown hair

Dry all those tears people are starting to stare

Come take my hand and put on a smile

No one can know your emotional turmoil 

Take all trauma and bury it down deep

Don't let it show or people will speak

They will tell you your bad

Your hurt is not real

So dry those tears

Put on a smile

Bottle up your turmoil