Battles

[Dreamy]

@NightFury sorry to hear that you woke a few times but I'm glad you managed to go back to sleep. I also had a restless night and woke up a couple of times but I got enough sleep. 

Thankyou for those hugs ❤️. 

I hope all goes ok today, I will check in with you later on but I'll be around all day if you want to chat at anytime 😊

[Dreamy]

Hello @rav3n, how are you going? 

[rav3n]

hey @Dreamy! i'm alright. was feeling pretty foggy but i've moved my workstation outdoors to soak some sun and its seemed to have helped heaps 🌞 

how are you going?

[Dreamy]

@rav3n moving your workstation outside sounds perfect. Glad to hear it's helped 😊.

I'm having a bit of a moment, I got my results from my blood test today. Wasn't what I expected and I'm not sure how to handle it. Then there's the part of me that's realised that I've caused this myself and the damage is done, that's hard to accept and leaves me feeling angry and frustrated with myself. I've been focusing on doing my puzzle and having Casper cuddles trying to keep my mind off of things. 

@NightFury @REDLINEZ750 

[rav3n]

oh that's tough @Dreamy sorry to hear that the results weren't what you wanted. i've had moments where i've been frustrated at myself too, knowing that if i had done things differently, the outcome could've been better. processing this kind of news can be hard hey. do take your time, we're here for you.

i do hope you're able to be gentle with yourself and remember that it's never too late to make changes. we can't go back but we can move forward in a new direction 💙

glad you've got casper and your puzzle too, is this the stitch one?

[Dreamy]

@rav3n it's definitely hard to process.

I'm trying to be gentle with myself, it's just hard cos this brings up alot of memories of suicide attempts and that's what has lead to this now, so as a result of my actions I've brought this upon myself. My levels of insulin are too high which is the pre-diabetes stage. Of course my brain goes to worst case scenario and also the feelings of wanting to fix everything immediately even if it's not possible. 

I know there's no changing the past and that's hard to accept in itself but I do plan on changing things to hopefully make the future better. My first plan is to record my daily food intake for the next 2 weeks to take into my doctor when I see him next and then we can go from there to work out what needs to change in my diet. 

Not sure if this needs a trigger warning but I don't know how to do it from my phone. Also just in case there's any concern I'll add that I am safe. 

Yes I'm still working on my stitch puzzle 😊. 

@NightFury @REDLINEZ750 

[rav3n]

it makes sense why it'd be hard to process, especially with those memories popping up again @Dreamy. sending you gentle hugs 💙

good on you for making those plans!! i hear you, it's so hard to be patient and take things slowly when we want to see changes now, but i'm glad you're working on taking it one step at a time. a lot of my mum's side of the fam have diabetes, and my mum's in the pre-diabetes stage. i remember how overwhelming it was for her to process and plan out - there were some setbacks, but she's made a lot of progress. i have no doubt that you will too, you got this!!

lovely!! also i was going to respond on the other thread but forgot - love the frog colouring you did✨ i've been seeing a lot of frog related things lately (like chasingsunsets' socks, your colouring, quotes on pinterest with frogs, etc) and i'm really vibing with them. they've got such a calming presence.

[Dreamy]

@rav3n thankyou ❤️. I know a couple of people with diabetes so I've at least got some people to talk to about it. Me and my friend have decided we want to get healthier together, so we will make sure we keep each other in line 😂. 

Thankyou. I enjoyed doing the frog colouring and it really felt good to be able to colour again. I've been seeing alot of the frog posts aswell, frogs are such cute little creatures 😊.

[NightFury]

Hi @Dreamy @rav3n 

So, in spite of my emotional meltdown last night, my first day back at work for Term 4 did not go badly. It was a student free day, so we had meetings all day. 

There's a colleague at work who...is difficult to work with, and is manipulative and puts others down so that they can appear better than..they also have a history of other staff reporting to feel unsafe around them. Well...I upset them last in the last week of term by talking over the top of them (hey...neurodivergent and had something to share - there was no ill intention behind it) and so this person is now actively ignoring me and not even replying with goodbyes and hellos. It just makes things awkward and sets off my social anxiety and my inability to people without making social faux pa's. 

I came home and did a couple of hours of study and have just sat down to eat last night's dinner. 

How are you both? 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy yay having an accountability buddy makes it much more motivating!! you both got this!!

aww i'm glad, it was nice seeing your colouring again 😊

hey there @NightFury!

ughh that sucks that despite the multiple reports, this person's behaviour still seems to be off. i hear what you mean, it can feel awks and uncomfy when someone starts behaving differently. maybe he's trying to get a reaction out of you, but honestly, it just goes to show that he has poor communication skills 😕 he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of making you feel uncomfy!!