afternoon @Emelia8 
how is little Holly going ?
hope the stray cat is behaving himself xxxx
been a crazy week up , not much work because of rain -- 16 days straight of pouring rain sooo far
is it getting cooler there
Hi @Emelia8 - love to know how you are going? If you're getting any support at home? Are people staying? I don't know if to think you just running around after guests or left alone and crying and sleeping 😢 Just worries cause I remember how it was for me when everyone left and I was alone and I just don't want to see you go through that. We're here when you need us. No pressure. Just ❣️
Thank you everyone ... I lean on you all every day. I just am not very visible right now. My apologies for lack of response. I am listening, reading, hearing ... each of your messages ... and appreciate them all. They help to sustain me on a daily basis.
Struggling with a sense of identity right now. No idea really who or what I am any more.
Filled in a form yesterday, requiring me to tick a box .... Married / Single / Widowed / etc.
I dont see myself as a Widow ... and I actually detest the word. It gives me an image of something that I'm not. Or I dont see myself as, even if I actually am. But what am I, who am I, where do I go from here?
A bit over 2 weeks ago, I was a wife of over 23 years .. now technically I'm a widow. What does that even mean? A little over 2 weeks ago, I was a full time carer. Now I'm nothing ... no purpose, no role. As silly as it may seem, given my husbands terminal cancer and other major illnesses that he has been diagnosed with over the past 4 years ... I have never really envisaged a life without him.
So my sense of identity is missing right now, and I lack any purpose in life.
The last of my house guests and out of town visitors left on Thursday, so I have had the past 2 days to myself. I needed that.
Emelia
