Lived Experience Forum

[Ruisseau]

I have just joined. A lost soul since late teens. Lonely. Shy. Low confidence and esteem. Kind of muddled through life. Virtually no friends. Decades of seeing psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors. They're no use to me. Frauds as far as I'm concerned. Work and relationships don't come easy. For some years it's felt like life is a dream; not real; not really happening. Brain fog, derealization, call it what you will. I call it 'Lost'. Not looking for sympathy, just solutions. Just wondering if anyone else is currently or has been in a similar state and what they did about it. I've tried meditation, exercise, diet. Losing hope to be honest. 

[tyme]

Hey @Ruisseau ,

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you. 

I really struggled in my late teens until my mid-30s. I tried so many different meds, exercises, therapies, etc. .... I really thought I was a lost soul. Due to being so acutely unwell, I didn't think I'd live past my 26th birthday....

But I'm still here.. over 10 years on.

What does the 'ideal' life look like to you? This can be different for everyone, so it's good to ask. 

Some people want to have heaps of friends while others are happy with 1-2 strong friendships.... you?

[Tilz]

@Ruisseau  Hi how are you? Don't ever think that you are lost. Just imagine how can you get lost when there are thousand of people with you.. Like us ❤️ . You should never think that way. Even i had same feeling. I stopped thinking in that way because if i keep on thinking like that i used to get away from friends and loved ones.  So that bring me sadness and then just my mind keep on thinking about all the problems in world. spend some time with your loved ones. May be friends or family. If you keep on thinking that you are lonely, that will really hurt you. talk to your old friend , Have a meal with them and bring all the lovely memories back. Im sure your loneliness slowly will run out of you

[StanD]

I am glad you are still here @tyme Thankyou for sharing, I had no idea. I notice I felt sad & so proud. You know, I still don't believe you! I think you know what I'm saying.

Hello @Ruisseau I thought about you last night & today. I don't know what to say.

[tyme]

Yes @StanD , 

Like many others here, I've had it very very rough. I've had more involuntary admissions than a person could count...

And part of my condition is living with chronic SI. I want to live, but the SI is always there. It takes a strong mind to take hold of those thoughts. Our mind can be the biggest enemy sometimes.

I was a terribly lost soul.

Content/trigger warning

I spent every waking moment want to unalive myself... it wasn't a nice life.

Yet I'm here, and I'm glad to be here. There's not victory without a fight.

Because of all the support I was given during my MH journey, I vowed to always give back. That's why I'm here.

I'm proud of you too @StanD 

@Ruisseau @Tilz - Hope you are okay.

[Ruisseau]

Thanks for the replies. I did some reading about Lost Souls which I hadn't really done before. Certainly sounds like me. Also thought about why and when I became one. May just have helped a bit. Much better day today. Maybe the weather. Perhaps it's getting a few things done. Best wishes to you all in finding ways to head in the right direction.

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Ruisseau 

I relate to being a lost soul.. and even more sadly being called one. Never mind… there are worse labels. My parents went walkabout when I was 6 so its pretty apt.

Nowadays I prefer the concept… of Long Dark Night of the Soul… with the emphasis on it being… past tense,,,, but boy my “night” was long…. Anyway… words can help shape and hinder our inner work and outer realities. Find what suits and is relevant and wholesome.  Any word can trigger a range of responses in others… but language is a great invention of Homosapiens. 

take care

apple

[Tilz]

@tyme yes im doing good. Exactly tyme. There is no victory without a fight 💙

[-abbey-]

I just googled this to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding the meaning. Yes, I think I am. I'm alone. I don't fit in. I often don't know what the point is but I keep on keeping on, hoping one day I'll find my people, people who like good, honest, genuine, quiet, kind, but also broken and hurt. 

[tyme]

Hey @-abbey- ,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It is hard to feel so lonely. 

What do you think you can do to work towards being a little less lonely? Do you have things you are interested in that you can join groups for?