Fragile

[Anastasia]

Thank you @Appleblossom 🙏🤗

[outlander]

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @Teej 

[Appleblossom]

Beautiful picture @outlander 

[Appleblossom]

So much resonates from this video, but not the fashions in cars or clothes.  

The caring and pain of separation from younger sibs. The running away from authority figures at first, the sitting in the back of random cars with random workers, sadly looking out the window, the wanting to back with mother, sitting in the long grass, physical altercations by foster carer, new faces and places, uncertainty and unclear rules.  I was probably a year or 2 younger.  My parents did not act out the same, and neither did I, but so much resonates.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOeQUwdAjE0 

The tone of weariness.  The claiming of story and the making peace with it.  Sibling attachment with my brother 4 yrs and my sister 2 yrs and the powers that be.  The waiting and the patience with the waiting.  The preference for adults for the younger ones as they are easier to manage.  The hurt and the being good and understanding that their needs are greater.  The court cases.  I remember one in Vic and one in NSW. It was good to see her grown up and switch into the teacher role.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1fGmEa6WnY 

It is rare for me to see something that relates to my childhood.  Seeing her in background of nature water and rocks is a big similarity.

@Anastasia @Sophia1 @Anastasia @Owlunar   

Just sharing and wondering if you have any response for me.

[Sophia1]

Hello @Appleblossom 

Thank you for tagging me..

I will come back when have time to read and watch links properly..

Have been on here for too long this morning..

need to stretch ...move....have shower!

will be back..

Sophia 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Appleblossom 

I started to reply and realise that I need far more time to watch the links that you have provided..

I will answer briefly to give you something as an offer of supporting you as if I knew you in real life...

should you ask me this....I would ask if it would be alright for me to hug you or sit with you side by side and reflect ...

let thoughts flow..

I would allow you silence...allow you to decide whether you want to explore your feelings...reactions...or just sit ...share silence..

@Appleblossom 

 a huge question ...

One that has no doubt been weighing very heavily on your mind ....at times probably not even being aware of such...

How can I possibly give such appalling treatment of families an answer that would come close to a conversation around such atrocity...

Even those who went through the experiences themselves...would have their own feelings and questions different to all others..

I wonder if you might be feeling in a stronger state of mind within your own life now...

You certainly present that way to me even though I have never met you; from when we first met on these forums...

My chaotic ..frantic...search for answers I think...

You connecting with my predicament to a certain degree ...

Our minds colliding at first as we were both in battle within ourselves ; trying to make sense of what was then happening for us...

common ground...motherhood...sons...illness...brought us together time and time again...

I wonder if you are actually asking yourself...

and we you have tagged are the mirror...

I speak for myself and can tell you that I will support you in every way that I can...

I do not have answers for you in relation to that question....I have sadness...

Are you wanting to explore and understand new or old feelings arising..relieve some of the weight of such heavy feelings from that time..?

Would you like to talk about any part of it ?

Or are you purely wanting to acknowledge that it was real and for you and all of you affected still is very real....

You want to be heard..

This part I understand and relate to very well...being heard and valued..

I am here listening and I certainly value you as a person who has a wealth of knowledge..

I think that you know this though..

This is perhaps more about exploring your own questions within..

Whatever this is....you have started the conversation...

I am listening

💜

[Anastasia]

I too want to offer you an ear, a hug, oh @Appleblossom there aren't enough words...

The pain, the loss of your childhood, the fear, I cannot begin to imagine.

I'm am so so sorry.

You really are a remarkable woman. I have so much admiration for you. Gently Bently comes to mind dear friend. 

Here listening and grateful to know you 💕

[Sophia1]

Hello dear @Appleblossom 

Leaving these here for you whilst you take special care of your thoughts and feelings...

wild alstroemerias a symbol of friendship

[Appleblossom]

@Sophia1 

I did not mean to burden you or any I tagged.

Somehow had not felt recognition or validation for it. Maybe the films are like a mirror, and also taking me out my SELF and alone experience, and the terrible not normalness of it, to the surprise of the commonalities of those kind of experiences.  Also for wondering about what happened to brother and sister and father, while they were in care. All of it intertwined with the story as viewed, and the memories and questions.  Maybe the feelings will never be adequately addressed, and I am learning to live with that. 

Thank you for acknowledging @Anastasia 

My fragility is a big part of me.

[Anastasia]

It's what helps shape the loving person you are @Appleblossom 🙏💚