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Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Good night my @Former-Member  xxc

My computer had died and sending this by mobile phone 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Good night @Shaz51  💤😴  sleep well.

 

Thank you so much for your very kind words @Appleblossom  💖  And thanks for your lovely pic @outlander 

 

Sherry 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member  Thankyou so much for sharing your journey. It is so raw and honest. 
I have so many questions about PTSD as I try and support my hubby. I can't begin to explain how much this forum is helping me to have patience.

Hubby seems to have recovered after being triggered by Christmas (this happens every year). Now he is almost manic (for want of a better word). Lots of energy, overlly friendly and sharing details with people he hardly knows. He is not in therapy or on medication but has read a self help book since Christmas. Obviously I am concerned but feel guilty that I should be happy he has pulled through since Christmas but his current behaviour is unusual. 
Anyway I will keep reading everyone's posts and take one day at a time and not over react. Maybe he is just super excited to feel well again?

 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thank you so much @Scoo ... I really appreciate your comments and your support as well.  I am sorry your hubby is going through so much with his PTSD also.  Because it also means you are going through it all too, as his carer and partner.  You mentioned that he is not undergoing any treatment or therapy at present.  Has he in the past?  Its good that he is trying to help himself with some self help reading.  Sounds like Christmas was a difficult time for you both. I'm sorry but I dont know your full story, so dont want to comment about things I know nothing about. If you have a Carers thread where you have more details about your husbands situation, can you tag me into it next time you post there?  I would appreciate that a lot.  It does sound like fairly odd behaviour, but I really dont know. Perhaps he has read that its a good idea to talk about things, which it is, and that could be why he is sharing details with little known people. The lots of energy could be anything.  Manic ... he isnt BiPolar is he?  I do understand your concern, because it sounds like this behaviour is most unusual for him.  But hey ... maybe he is celebrating the fact that he is feeling so much better than he did at Christmas time.  Wouldnt that be great?  I will talk more if you tag me onto a thread where I can read more about your hubbys situation, if thats okay?  

 

Again thanks so much for reading here.  I hope your weekend is going well.

 

Sherry 💕😃

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Okay I'm back again.  I'll bet you are all regretting that I got my PC back, by now? Bombarding you all with long posts.  Anyway hopefully this is the last long one.  I will restrict myself from now on. Promise 😊

 

Since my psychologist recently informed me that I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) I've been doing some research about it.  I think this will resonate with a lot of people here on the forums, judging from some of your comments already. So I thought I would post it here to share with others.  Perhaps I should have opened up a new thread about HSP?  But I dont know if one already exists.  Here will do for now.

 

Highly sensitive people experience things more intensely than most. Strong emotions are easier to identify for HSPs than the average person. This also helps them to communicate effectively because they don’t just hear the words coming out of other people’s mouths, but they also catch on to more subtle signs such as gestures and tone of voice.

 

There are trade-offs, however, because if strong emotions in HSPs are left unchecked it can have bad consequences. Highly sensitive people can use their qualities to advantage provided they understand that they are highly sensitive. This awareness ensures the ability to reap the benefits of heightened emotional awareness while also spotting and defeating any negative tendencies.  So it is quite important to be able to identify if you are HS.  It helps us to manage and deal with the effects of high emotions and feeling overwhelmed.

 

Here are some common qualities that HSPs typically possess. You will likely recognise that many of these also apply to people with PTSD.  How many of these apply to you?  Personally ... I can say that 33 of the 34 points below describe me to a tee.

 

How do I recognise if I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

 

1.  You're a deep thinker.

When life throws you a curveball, you retreat deep into your shell, thinking through every aspect of what transpired before taking any action. Small things (in your own life and other people’s lives) can have a big impact on you.

2.  You’re detail-oriented.

You’re as sensitive to details as you are to feelings. You see details that others miss, and you aren’t content until you’ve dotted all the i’s and crossed the t’s. This is a strength that is highly valuable in the right profession.

3.  You take a while to reach decisions.

Since you’re prone to dig deep beneath the surface, you tend to drag out decisions. You can’t help but try to run every possible outcome through your head, and this is often at the expense of the ticking clock.

4.  You’re crushed by your bad decisions.

When you finally make a decision, and it turns out to be a poor choice, you take it much harder than most. This can create a vicious cycle that slows down your decision-making process even more, as fear of making a bad decision is part of what slows you down in the first place.

5.  You’re emotionally reactive.

When left to your own devices, you have a knee-jerk reaction to your feelings. You have strong reactions to what other people are going through. When your emotions come on strong, it’s easy to let them hijack your behaviour. The hard part is to channel your feelings into producing the behaviour that you want.

6.  You take criticism to heart.

Your strong feelings and intense emotional reactions can make criticism hard to take. Though you may overreact to criticism initially, you also have the tendency to think hard about things and explore them deeply. This exploration of criticism can play out well for you in the long run, as your inability to “shrug it off” helps you make the appropriate changes.

7.  You work well in a team situation.

Your unique ability to take other people’s feelings into account, weigh different aspects of multifaceted decisions, and pay attention to the smaller details makes you extremely valuable in a team environment. Although this can backfire if you’re the one that is tasked with making final decisions,  you’re better suited to offering input and analysis than you are to deciding whether or not to push the red button.

8.  You have great manners.

Your heightened awareness of the emotions of other people makes you highly conscientious. You pay close attention to how your behaviour affects other people and have the good manners to show for it. You also get particularly irked when other people are rude.

9.  Open offices/spaces drive you crazy.

Your sensitivity to other people, loud noises, and other stimuli makes it practically impossible for you to work effectively in an open-office environment. You’re better off in a cube or working from home.

10. You abhor violence and cruelty of any kind.

Everyone hates violence and cruelty, but for highly sensitive people, seeing or hearing about it can be extremely unsettling. You might be an HSP if you can’t watch very scary, gory, or violent movies without getting upset or even feeling physically ill. Similarly, you may not be able to stomach a news story about animal cruelty or similar brutal acts.

11.  You become emotionally exhausted by absorbing other people’s feelings.

Although highly sensitive people are not necessarily empaths, HSPs tend to “absorb” other people’s emotions, almost like an empath would. It’s not unusual for an HSP to walk into a room and immediately sense the mood of the people in it. Highly sensitive people are very aware of subtleties that others would likely miss ... such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. Paired with the HSPs high levels of empathy, HSPs feel emotions that are not their own. As a result, highly sensitive people tend to suffer from frequent emotional exhaustion.

12.  Time pressures rattle you.

When you have too many things on your to-do list and not enough time to finish them, you feel very stressed. HSPs are more sensitive to stimulation, and time pressure is no exception.

13.  You withdraw often.

Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you need plenty of downtime, preferably alone. You often find yourself withdrawing to a quiet, darkened room at the end of a long day.  This is to lower your stimulation level, soothe your senses and recharge.

14.  You’re jumpy.

When someone sneaks up on you, you jump like a frightened cat. Many HSPs have a high “startle reflex” because even in non-threatening situations, their nervous systems are dialled up.

15.  You think deeply.

The cornerstone of being an HSP is that you process information very deeply. This means you do a lot of reflecting on your past experiences — much more so than other people. This leads to you being more prone to negative thinking. Sometimes you obsessively play events over and over in your mind or spiral into anxious thoughts.

16.  You’re a seeker.

HSPs seek answers to the big questions in life. They ask why things are the way they are and what their role in all of it is. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may have always wondered why other people aren’t as captivated by the mysteries of human nature and the universe as you are.

17.  Sudden, loud noises startle you.

For example, a loud motorcycle suddenly roaring by your window may really shake you.

18.  Your clothing matters.

You’ve always been sensitive to what you wear. Scratchy fabric or any type of restrictive clothing  really irritates you. Non-HSPs may dislike these things too, but an HSP will carefully select their wardrobe to completely avoid them.

19.  Your pain tolerance tends to be lower than most others.

Many HSPs are more sensitive than non-HSPs to pain of all kinds - headaches, body aches, injuries, etc.

20.  You have quite an alive and present inner world.

Due to your deep thinking process, you have a rich inner world. As a child, you may have had several imaginary friends, enjoyed fantasy-based play, and were prone to daydreaming. As an adult, you may have vividly realistic dreams.

21.  Change is extremely upsetting.

HSPs take comfort in their routines, because the familiar is far less stimulating than something brand new. Therefore change  — both positive and negative — can really throw HSPs into a spin. Generally, HSPs need more time than others to adjust to change.

22.  Your environment can be your enemy.

Moving to a new home or travelling (even if for a vacation) can be quite difficult for you, because your senses are bombarded with too much new stimuli.

23.  You’re often misunderstood.

High sensitivity is often mislabelled. You may have been called “shy” or “anxious,” or had it implied that something was wrong with you. Many HSPs are labelled as introverts, because introverts and HSPs share many characteristics, including the need for lots of downtime. However 30 percent of HSPs are actually extroverts.

24.  You get "hangry" easily.

HSPs tend to be more sensitive to changes in blood sugar levels, so they may get quite “hangry” (hungry + angry) if they haven’t eaten in a while.

25.  Who needs stimulants?

When the nervous system is already ratcheted up to the highest level, who needs any more stimulus?  Some HSPs are highly sensitive to caffeine and need very little of it to feel its buzz. Likewise sensitivity to the effects of alcohol.

26.  Conflict is your poison.

When there’s tension or disagreement in your close relationships, you feel it deeply. Many HSPs even report feeling physically ill during conflict. As a result, some highly sensitive people become conflict-avoidant, doing or saying almost anything to keep the other person happy. It’s because conflict hurts so much.

27.  Criticism hurts .. a lot.

Words really matter to HSPs. Positive words can make them soar, but harsh words will send them crashing to the ground. Criticism can feel like a dagger, and negativity is toxic to the highly sensitive person’s finely-tuned system.

28.  You’re conscientious.

At work and in school, you try hard not to make mistakes. Although this doesn’t mean you’re perfect, you always giving things your best effort.

29.  You’re deeply moved by beauty.

Fine food, rich scents, beautiful artwork, or stirring music have a deep impact on you. You may find that music or certain sounds put you in a near trance-like state, or the way the wind catches the leaves in the autumn sunlight leaves you awestruck. You don’t understand how other people aren’t as moved by beauty as you are.

30.  You’re very perceptive.

Because you notice things that others often miss, you’re seen as perceptive and insightful. Even as a child, you may have been wise beyond your years. The world relies on highly sensitive people like you to make it a more compassionate and understanding place to be.

31.  You're uncomfortable in high stimulus situations.

You feel uncomfortable when exposed to bright lights, loud sounds, or certain strong scents.  You are also uncomfortable in large public crowds, in a room full of people talking, or when too many things are occurring simultaneously.

32.  It's very difficult for you to say “no” to requests.

Because you are afraid of hurting or offending someone, you often find yourself saying “yes” to things you'd rather not do, or had other plans which should have prevented you from agreeing.

33.  You regularly struggle with self care.

You often put off things ... taking proper breaks, exercising, adequate sleep, eating healthily, not skipping  meal, etc ... because you don’t have time right now. Because your sensitivity may extend to certain foods or physical maladies, it’s important for you to prioritize your health and make time for eating properly and exercising regularly.

34.  You are more prone to depression and anxiety than the average person.

I think it goes without saying that with all that emotion and 'feeling' going on within us, that we are typically more prone to periods of depression and high anxiety than the average person.

 

Thats quite a list aye?  I would be interested in your thoughts and whether you think all this applies to you and how much.  Again, thanks for reading. Some of you have already expressed the opinion that you are a HSP.  Perhaps this list will confirm your opinion, and that of your therapist.

 

@Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @outlander @Maggie @Scoo @BlueBay @CheerBear @Peri @Adge 

 

Sherry 💕

 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Yes that fits @Former-Member Very helpful thanks.

Shall have to re-read it (many times?).

I fit about 33 or 34 (or all) of them.

Adge

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member nooo don't ever restrict yourself my awesome friend xxxxxx

Wow that is me to a T

Now @Former-Member  what can we do about it to help us use it better xxx  

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

32/34 for me @Former-Member 

it's interesting isn't it? 
ive been told all my life thst "I'm too emotional" from a child. I would be told off by my parents to showing my emotions. 
ive recently been told by a psychologist that I'm a deep thinking and have a lot of insight. 

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Can definitely relate @Former-Member, but I think my mother was HSP too and taught me how to deal ..... how to dial down the sensitivity to make it more practical / serviceable, and how important self-care is .....

 

I think you have heard me say (write) "deal yourself a hand at the table too".  That came from her, and it was about not sitting back and acting the dealer, or banker, in a card game, being sensitive to the needs of the actual players and being quick to respond when they needed another or more new cards dealt to them (being an enabler) ..... deal yourself a hand too.  Be a pmayet at the table of life, and accept others dealing cards (enabling) you too.

 

In this sense I am using the term "enabling" as a positive thing.  You have to be careful that others don't use you for your generous nature, so seveloping a good level of discernment is also an important support to being a HSP.

 

Good for you @Former-Member .... ❣️ .... becoming self-aware about our strengths and room-to-be-improved's helps us to manage something that I view as a gift.

 

Guard it also as your Achilles heel.

 

❤️🌹

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thanks for the reply @Former-Member 

Hubby is definitely a HSP as well, interesting reading. He has had 3 counselling sessions in 10 years (two different counsellors). He's a social worker who does not think counselling would work for him (go figure!). The self help book he read had CBT principles. CBT has worked well for my own anxiety disorder and PTSD so I know how effective it can be. He might be applying some of the principles and finding it helpful so I am going to think positively and enjoy his new found high, and see where it all goes. 

Thanks again Sherry xx

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