rough time

[MDT]

Lifeline?? @outlander

[outlander]

ill see @MDT ive got family around so it makes it hard. family was the one that triggerred me. im worried they will send someone around and i cant afford that. i cant afford another breakdown

[flipper]

Hi @Outlander,

I understand it can be hard when the helpline isn't operating, so as @MDT suggested, if you're feeling like you need a chat please don't hesistate to get in touch with another one:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

Take care of yourself,

Flipper

[outlander]

thanks @flipper i dont think i can. 

[MDT]

Could you drive down the road or something? @outlander

[outlander]

No im stuck here atm. I hate trauma. 5 yrs and its still getting to me like this @MDT

[Bella1978]

@outlander

my sweetheart, im there with you, giving you courage and putting my arm around you to comfort you my luv.

xxxxxxxxxxx

[outlander]

Thanks @Bella1978 its so horrible 😞 if i hadve tried harder then my sister wouldnt have gone through that. It wouldve been me that got hurt worse than her. She said to me 'hey outlander do you know what this is from ( pointing to her scar) its from that big dog' i feel like im going to burst with emotions and tears but i cant afford to do that. Itll instil fear into everyonr else and i dont want to do that

[Bella1978]

@outlander

from what i have learnt about you through our online conversations i know that you would have done everything in your power to help your sister luv. we will replay a situation over and over in our head thinking 'what if I had done this' or 'what if i had done that' .... and it is hard to shake those thoughts. it sounds like your mind just wont settle for you atm. and it is hard, you want to just have a cry to release your emotions but when you are around other people, its not so easy. please try to be kind to yourself. remember, you did the best you could in the situation, and i think deep down you know that luv. xxxx

[outlander]

i want to do worse than cry but i cant do that either @Bella1978 i just want it all to be over. one of my fears is that it would affect her later in life.