Honey, that is a lot to be dealing with all at once. I know that it's really hard to see them and it bites that they still have such a hold over us, I really do. I hope that one day you will stop hating yourself for how seeing them makes you feel. It sounds like you have a lot of healing still to do and you are way to hard on yourself. At the end of the day we don't have worry about weather or not he saw you because we don't give a flying rats bottom about him in the sightless.
I am so sorry you felt like you could not share this with me last night. This is what i meant earlier when I said we needed to work out what we want going forward babe. Yes I was dealing with a lot, but because of the DID and the PTSD I am always dealing with a lot, but you where too. When I asked you last night about you, we had been talking about my crap for hours and you had shown me so such love and support even with what you had going on. But by the time I had asked you how you where I was done, I couldn't talk about me anymore and it was time it was turned to you. We wont always get it right, we will not always be able to there, to support but we can't decided weather the other one is up for, if the other one is stable enough for. Instead of asking how we are to work out where we are emotionally and mentally I think we go "ok they asked if we wanted share so therefore they must be ok" and then we have to be honest and respectful of where we are personally and if it's too much we have to tell each other.
Love and respect is what is going to help us both. Love, being there for each other when we can and respect, respect the others ability to judge weather they are up to hearing what we have to say and also respecting the fact that they might have to say no I can't today.
I love you my friend @Lee82
