Living with Ourselves

[Oaktree]

@EternalFlower 

I left you a message a few posts up.

[Sophia1]

Hello @Jacques 

My dear, long term friend.

I have landed again.

Needed help with directions and found myself back here in the recovery club.

Still recovering and coming up for air.

Your words that you wrote last resonate so strongly with how I feel also.

There is so much darkness in this world now and more people are lashing out unjustly without even considering or respecting others.

I actually experienced it today on another thread.  I am still feeling quite shaken and shocked by such vehement words from someone I do not even know.

They can stay away. They are not part of my world on here.

I am relieved that you still find comfort in gardening and the environment.

This is the same for me.  Nature is my sanctuary. My healing space.

All of the wildlife and resident birds, bees, butterflies and so much more have made our home their home. They even ignore our cat who is quite disgruntled by them. 

Some of the birds taunt him and he gingerly checks to see if all clear before venturing into some parts.

Keep on enjoying nature as it does bring so much peace.

You are a good friend and please know that you are such a worthy person.

You will always be my friend along with most I write to in this thread here.

Take care as always

May nature sing and speak to you, bring you comfort, warmth and love.

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Dear @EternalFlower 

You will never be overlooked by me when I am on the threads if I can find you.

You are an Eternal friend and I know that @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Appleblossom and others who have written to you feel the same.

It can feel so lonely though I have felt that myself and that is why I tell myself that I must take breaks from here.

Some people overcrowd and control I think without realising. Perhaps it is fear or anxiety. i do not know.

I believe that most do not mean to hurt.

Those who are not pleasant must be avoided.

Sophia

[Jacques]

Hi @Sophia im so so sorry you had to experience such hate today, please don't take it to heart. people can be so cruel and you are a beautiful person.

the internet has created the perfect storm, people feel emboldened to be mean to others without consequence. i have experienced it many many times over the years. when confronted they usually are very sorry.

yes my garden is growing and i am enjoying nature that chooses to visit me.

i am always here for a good chat and enjoy very much our conversations.

hugs my friend.

[Sophia1]

@Shaz51 @Oaktree @Glisten @Jacques @Appleblossom @EternalFlower 

Yesterday one of my birthday presents received in the morning was

Covid!!

Is the world trying to tell me something?

Well I told the world right back.  even covid is not going to keep me down.

Today I reheated the pizza that we bought for dinner last night as neither of us felt like cooking.

We have both been on the medical specialist and hospital merrygoround.

The pizza box caught fire in my large oven that is useless.

The airconditioning was on during lower rate energy use or whatever. Husband lighting woodfire . Cat sitting grumpily waiting impatiently in front of it.

Smoke alarm went off. Husband grabbed box not sure where it was now.

Windows doors opened cold gusty winds blowing in

House felt like Antartica.

Cat even grumpier.

I just sat down and cracked up laughing praying that fire brigade would not arrive.

Life!

Oh pizza was still yummy just box on fire and house filled with smoke!

Can anyone match that for a birthday? recently?

Sophia

[Oaktree]

Oh @Sophia1 

Sorry about Covid!

I do hope that you will feel better soon.

That is a rotten birthday story.

At least you can still find the funny side of things. It has been frightfully cold and wet here today. I have gone to bed and put electric blanket on and my lovely new doona. Listening to the rain outside.

Please take care of yourself

[Jacques]

Oh gosh @Sophia1 talk about what can go wrong does go wrong.

Happy belated birthday my friend.

Glad the puzza was good regardless

[Appleblossom]

ooh @Sophia1 that pizza box fire sounds so stressful and crazy and you had COVID. Things aren’t always simple. But yes, your sense of humour is still intact, in spite of it all….lol…I guess its a feast and famine of temperatures… 

I made prawns and veggies in tomato sauce on spinach ricotta tortellini with sharp cheese. Yum. Never done it before. Good to try something new.

followed by honey mandarin tea.

really good to see you on the forum.

@Jacques @EternalFlower @Shaz51 @Oaktree 

[Sophia1]

you are so wise @Jacques 

far beyond your age

I remember one of your replies telling me that self isolation for you is almost healing not your words perhaps

You said something along the lines of that you were pleased to read that I had found comfort within the realms of self isolating and I knew then that we both feel that sense of being at one with ourselves.

I don't think that this can be clearly understood by others who have not experienced long term isolating by choice.

I found a sense of calm that I had not experienced in a long time.

This is intermittent of course with life still throwing up but then I have also learnt that is what real life is.

Challenges.

Life is one big quest with different obstacles appearing from out of nowhere when we least expect them.

sometimes we are still dealing with existing ones

other times we are feeling a sense of achievement at getting through others

then there are the times where we feel that it is all too hard

then we bounce back to a certain degree and tell ourselves that what we have is enough

real life for me now is about the environment and creatures that are not human laugh

people in this world just make a mess of everything eventually

I am more focussed on what my heightened sensory perception which is a whole new experience.

It is like living in another sphere at times.

I am not hallucinating rather digging deeper and deeper and discovering my essence.

Then life gives me a jolt and I am back dealing with symptoms of the mind.

Of course I love my boys and husband and a few family members.

Most I have culled even though they are miffed.

They want me back so that they can interrupt, talk over me. dismiss me and of course expect me to listen to all about them in their very materialistic worlds. I do not belong there.

Where are you at with doing up your home? I think that you had nearly if not finished the kitchen.

No need to rush to reply.  I will find it as I receive notifications for this thread.  I might not reply for a while but will eventually.

I will try to reply more often 

I will remember to stay here though

Thank you Jacques.

The world is a better place because of you.

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Hello @Appleblossom 

Yes humour is my saving grace.

It pops up from nowhere and has got darker these days so I have to keep a check.

Sometimes the words just fall out.

Throwing up.

Yes your meal sounds scrumptious.

I love cooking many styles of pasta dishes with different sauces.

Mediterranean food is my favourite.

I add my own touch too.

I do not cook as much as I used to only when I have a burst of energy.

Lovely to hear from you dear friend

Sophia