Socialising for Beginners

[Appleblossom]

I have decided socialising is a bit like fitness and flexing a muscle. If you dont use it you lose it. When someone asked me today how I was. I could respond brimming after my last few great days. Good.  I cracked bad mum jokes, and had serious theological conversation, was kind to a newcomer and a lovely lady came and retrieved my coffee cup.  I used to feel so incredibly awkward when socialising, so fearful, or patiently trying and getting nowhere. I had a moment of uncertainty, should I stay or run, but hung in there. The bossy lady asked me to get involved with something and I responded curtly "not sure".  

The man out front brought in eastern philosophy of the Gunas and Beethoven and respects mental health issues. He is a good man. The lady out the front was ridiculous and made us all laugh about buying ethical eggs.   

[Historylover]

Hello @Dimity. Hope all goes well with you, and that your health has improved.

[Dimity]

Hello @Historylover nice to see you. I'm okay now thanks.  Hope you're travelling well and things brighten for you. My road's a bit dark and bumpy atm. Families are complicated,  family crises more so. Not sure how much social skills count during advocacy, but I'll need them for negotiation. Maybe @Appleblossom has some tips.

[Historylover]

I hope things brighten for your soon too, @Dimity.  There seems to be a lot of traffic on this bumpy road at the moment.🥺 Another week awaits us. Hope it's a good one for us all. 

[tonys]

@Appleblossom I nearly missed this post appleblossom.    . . .    there is timbre in its voice.

  Could this be the church where churches come to,   for a realignment.

A place where academics and paupers truly,  share one cup.

words without visuals,  still a very big challenge for me.  Have to give a bit to get a bit and gifts are often  at the mercy of recipients,   be it a dark corner on the street or  a light corner here,   exchange and interpretation are moving targets through old eyes. . .

My gifts are often very roughly wrapped,  but I thank those who forgive,  bend there minds a little and accept.  acceptance at  the extremes of diversity takes  special minds.   and the very best communities,  are built from multi coloured bricks with generous humble hands.

I hope you all are well and had a great weekend.  @Dimity  @tyme  and all

tonys  mb 1

[tonys]

@Dimity       Thankyou for including me in that,  and the benefit of you wisdom,  and maturity,

Not sure I will ever attain the second Quality  so I will just  bathe in the light of yours.

I do hope things look a little more shiny tomorrow.  Very best wishes,     tonys   mb 1

[TAB]

@Clawde just saying Hi 🙋‍♂️ 😸

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Clawde You are welcome to chip in with tuppence or whatever... 

This must be the low brow foodwise social thread.  Still loved those moments high flying with you imagining all those tastes.... 

As I said to @Delicatessen I have already tried the music approach, book approach, booze approach and the food approach. Always tried to figure out was lacking or how to make it better.  The delicatessen was the foundation of my food approach for a long time .... always love to hear any hiking stories.

Come to the conclusion, it was mostly out of my control re making happy families.  Did my best.

Been asked to make cheesecake for an Easter bash (3 peep). I still have the special spirits for to give it that edge.  Bottle sitting on shelf for couple of years...if people are kind enough to include me I will be there plus contribution.

But yeah Delicatessen ... socialising can be over-rated.

@tyme @Dimity @Historylover @tonys 

I spent the rest of yesterday resting.  Too much social fun and physical work, needed to have a nanna nap.

One advantage of having lots of fingers in different pies ... diversifying the investments, as they say, is that I stop obsessing over hurts, and have the next experience, and my mindset shifts a little, and yes there is the next little moment that is less than perfect, and I worry about that, but trying to let it all go... and go with that flow ...

Today, I have counsellor and important insights to share, that I cannot share on here. I do have some boundaries. lol

@tonys Many say that church is dying.  This particular church is a weird combo, of the old and the new. I have only been visiting nearly 2 years. 2 different congregations plopped together under same stone building, cos of factors outside of their control, bad engineering in one church meant they needed a home.  It is trying times for many.

as @Dimity @Historylover said bumpy roads.

@tyme I am glad you feel comfortable on sane forum. 

I can say mostly I feel comfortable, there are always those awkward moments and I am accepting them without falling apart.

But my back is kil-ling me so gotta get up and move.

[Historylover]

Don't get up to any mischief today, @Appleblossom.

[MDT]

It's random experiences like that which I think build character too @Appleblossom

Today I walked into the coffee shop I frequent and some guy was ranting about indigenous Australians. Made some crass joke. I didn't laugh. Just ignored it. I can imagine a previous version of myself probably wouod laugh... the barista laughed it off ... after all he is more interested in making a sale




One thing I am noticing is that I'm seeing through a lot of the fake garbage we put out as a society in the capitalist system we have. Idk if you've read Sartre but he does say that in a capitalist society we place too much emphasis on what we do for work. We see ourselves as the job. Not as something which does a job.
Big difference.

I think it is this attitude that sees me through some of the more stranger experiences I have in work or similar.

Agreed about socialising being like a muscle. Speaking of I need to go to the gym lol.