Socialising for Beginners

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @FloatingFeather 

I appreciate the affirmation about my sharing on here.

About speaking up.  I think I am still at a delicate stage with it.  Not done enough of it to know. Did speak up once to lady in zoom and that worked out well.  Did speak up to man who was not being good for my son, and that may have been too strong, but I needed to assert some mama bear lines in the sand.  My main gain has been ... working with the "choice and control" within the NDIS and finally moving away from toxic situations that may emerge.  If it is meant to be helpful, than I should feel it is. and not keep making excuses and working with things that are sending me into torment and self doubt and si.

[FloatingFeather]

It sounds like you maybe still navigating the balance around speaking up @Appleblossom. It is good that it worked out well when you spoke up to the lady on Zoom. Maybe it's a mama bear thing but I hesitate much less when I am speaking up for my kids than myself too. 

I like how you say it is about choice and control - that way it's hopefully more about speaking up on your terms and not anyone else's.

Maybe it's because speaking up goes against your grain that is still feels a bit foreign for you? Hopefully it will start to feel more helpful and natural for you soon so it doesn't trigger you in a negative way. I really hope as you gain more familiarity with speaking up those those triggers lessen for you. 

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @Appleblossom it does take time 

Maybe it's a mama bear thing but I hesitate much less when I am speaking up for my kids than myself too. ---- this is very true @FloatingFeather 

feels a bit foreign  to me too @Appleblossom , @FloatingFeather xxx

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @FloatingFeather  and @Shaz51 

For so long it was "save me breath".

Even the speaking up as mama bear was rendered rare.

I am getting better at it.

Spoke up in counselling today and seemed to have a reasonable result.  

Getting coaching from her about socialising and groups, as well as speaking my deep multi-layered truths.

[Appleblossom]

Back from exercise and enjoyed it.  Know it is good for me physically.  Many people were dressed up for easter.  We had a gorgeous yellow chook, a rabbit, almost becoming rabbit stew cos of exercising in bunny suit ... and many eggcellent jokes ... and bunny ears...

It was just lovely and a big shift from the way I was brought up so seriously to think about easter.  We were enjoying being old and silly.  I was feeling gentle and shy but still talked a tiny bit to a few people and came home.  

[Appleblossom]

@FloatingFeather going over our posts .... and reflecting ... that just speaking ... is a change.  I often do body language to save speaking ... so ... really a beginner ... just having little gradual getting to know you convos.  Speaking up ... as in assertion ... is another level again.

[Kyle1]

Good morning @Historylover 

How are you?

[Historylover]

Hello, @Kyle1. Nice to hear from you. Well, I've just put the washing on the line and was just wondering what I would do with the rest of my day. I don't have to wonder for long though, as I'm immersed in doing 3 assignments for my course at once. what about you? 

[Kyle1]

Washing on the line already?! @Historylover you must have been up at 5 to get your washing started... 😮

Gosh - you're a go getter, hey! 

I have a table reserved for the kids and I later this evening. Until then, I might just float about and hope I don't mind too much about it. I've woken thinking negatively about some so called friends who haven't turned up for me over these past few weeks.

People like that are not worth first morning kind of thoughts - this I know. And yet it has happened. So I'm trying to get my nose raised up and dignified about moving on 😆 ...

[Historylover]

Just my usual morning routine, @Kyle1. I used to be even more efficient but I'm allowing myself a degree of laxity of late. 

Sounds like you have a nice evening to look forward to. 

Our thoughts can be intrusive sometimes. I was thinking this morning about how, when we think we are just going about our chores, our minds are continually working on one past event or another. Like an unraveling for deeper consideration. I guess our brains never rest.

I have wondered about friends, of late, too. I've come to the conclusion that acquaintances must be the way to go.

There's no avoiding reflecting on our lives when life takes unexpected turns, @Kyle1. 🌞 Life can be a bummer sometimes.