The really weird thing @HenryX is that I have been hurt and isolated and had to compromise a long time because of growing up in poor areas with uneducated Aussies (New and Old Australians). I hit the books and felt safer there, became "professional" and could make many meaningful changes in my life, but still suffer from being socially isolated and "on the margins". The ones who never made good, love to play the cut the tall poppy and I have put up with it even tho I do not like it, cos its the Aussie way, and at least those 2 knew my brother and sister who had suicided. They also use that to hold me in place. They both drink a lot, have very loud aggressive personalities and are very very very gradually growing up. I do not cut them off as it is not something I believe is a good thing, even tho that has been done to me.
The ones who espouse similar beliefs usually have no idea of the life I have lived and I fall prey to casual judgments. I do not take them personally anymore, cos they are just way off the mark, but still I suffer the exclusion.
My support worker has no lack of English, but it is very formal, without Aussie vernacular. He is very confident in his education, has masters and is doing doctorate. Study and working part time plus busy family life He is the age of my oldest daughter. Sadly all my biological family relationships have been distorted and damaged by lots psychosocial issues. He also has a good sensitive heart and soul and has courage, only been in the country a few years with his little brood. So working out how worried to be about our famous poisonous snakes and spiders. I have seen sad stories in the news about newcomers losing lives in our outback and ocean areas, so I share how to make the most of the beauty and wilderness, while gaining understanding of the risks. There are many cultural differences, but we have hewn out a beautiful relationship. He did not know about our camping culture, so I explained about national parks and other camping ground facilities etc and how to manage with littlies. That we gradually increased our camping equipment etc ...that I can loan him stuff if needed. 4 littlies through covid lockdown is a challenge. So getting out and about this summer will help. With La Nina it should be not so dry and fingers crossed not many fires.
Hugs my lovely Sane lady friends who have helped me feel better connected to Aussie culture. Helps me cope with my way out bogan people whom I met when I was 10. Best of a wild lot.
They rubbish me about teaching values.
They rubbish me about conservationist values.
They rubbish me about artistic values. I can only cope with limited contact.
But in their own weird way they mean well .... (just 2 people from another family in the flats) just knowing he had a crush on my little sister, means I forgive them everything else. Nobody else even had one story to tell me or one phone call to support me. Suicide is a very socially tricky thing. Embarrassment and shame is huge. My big extended family ... disappeared ... desperately climbing social ladders ....Marginalisation ... has a lot of aspects .... not just a long word ...
Hey @Appleblossom Teaching values is something that I especially subscribe to. There are our core values - those things that are who we are, and there are our social values - those things we do to treat people with care and respect. They are not mutually exclusive though - I believe our social values very much come from the person we are and the life experiences we have had. Whilst we may want/hope/wish we could change so much we have endured - it is also those experiences that have moulded who we are. I absolutely would change so much but recognising we can't and not constantly wishing things had been different goes a long way to actually living with ourselves ...and part of that is knowing our core values and moreso - living them each and everyday ...in that way we are being the best version of ourselves and you cannot ask anymore than that! Love and massive hugs for you dear Apple 💖💖💖
@Faith-and-Hope Today has been tough - made it through the day at work but really struggled. Unfortunately it may likely be that way for a couple of weeks whilst the iron meds kick in. Still have headaches but nowhere near as severe as they have been. Soooo tired 
Had a really lovely moment though today - one of my grade 6 students drew a few pictures and wrote a note to me. She said my art classes have been the highlight of her time at school and that I am one of the people that have made it bearable at school. To put that into a little perspective - she lost her Mum a couple of months ago so I have certainly been checking in with her as much as I can. The really funny thing is I give her heaps - but she gives it back. We do laugh a lot (generally at each other) but it is definitely from a place of care. I did cry when I read what she wrote and am certainly going to miss her ...and more than that hope she will be okay
Enough of me ...how are you Hon?
@Shaz51 Awful for you and Mr Shaz my sister ...I hope you have had some relief from it all tonight and are already tucked up in bed 💖💖💖
@Snowie Hugs sweetheart 💙
Rocks belong in the ground. Def not in your neck. Know what you mean though. Glad there some moments that were good.
@Zoe7 Ooh language is so funny and often a clumsy tool, even when we are careful. This old friend rubbishes school and education generally, we do not even get to talking about such a thing as "values" and unpacking them. However she did send her daughter to me for music lessons for a number of years, so that was her way of doing her best and giving what she could, and keeping links going. She is very vocal about her views and does not care who she offends. Last time I saw the daughter, think the daughter was glad to have someone there to give her respite from her mum.
With all the turbulence and changes of school years, she still was a slightly positive presence, in that she loaned me a dress to wear to a formal, rather than kick my head in. Lovely girls around me in those years. Girls at school were all so full of their own problems they never knew mine, but generally where I lived was viewed with horror, cept I thought it was better than where I had been before. So grateful for small mercies. I do not regret leaving school and home at 16. It was essential for my survival. I went back and got the education part, but the issues have always been about psychosocial fit and life in the margins. I mostly was thoughtful and tried to do the right thing in very tricky situations without protection or guidance.
Hope you are coming through hard patch and slowly ticking off reports.
Going through a lot of rethink here about what to do with myself. Someone I knew at 17 posted on my birthday fb page ... "Celebrate with abandon".
I read it today 7 months later .... but it gives me grist for the mill. I have been so careful and diplomatic and tried so hard. Many people dont even bother. Wow ... to celebrate or even just be "me" with abandon is a lovely thought. Especially with all the other baggage around the abandonment concept. I am no longer 6 when abandoned. I survived. I am allowed to be alive. Even more. Learn to celebrate it.
Hugs lovely ladies
and
@Shaz51 @Snowie @Former-Member