Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

[CheerBear]

I know it feels ridiculous @TheVorticon but you're not alone in feeling it. Last week I SOSed my psych of 7+ years who really has never let me down. I turned dark and twisty-ish when it took some time for him to get back to me. By time I'm talking the whole of one day 😏

Ultra tricky for you having to ask for another appointment given what you're going through with this.

[TheVorticon]

I'm glad you got a reply from your psych eventually @CheerBear. It's hard when things get dark and twisty-ish and it's so much worse when we reach out and get tumbleweeds.

Things with my psych are complicated. I could say that he's been my psych for almost 12 years with a 10 year break in the middle.
I've followed up to ask for an appointment next week and let him know that it will have to be our last session of we can't resolve the issue. I don't expect to hear back from that until early next week. It sucks a whole lot. Maybe for the best.

[CheerBear]

Wow that's a long time to have known someone over @TheVorticon. I can see how that might complicate things even more maybe.

Sounds like a good plan with the email you sent. Very sucky though. I really hope you have a helpful outcome soon

[TheVorticon]

Thanks @CheerBear 

[CheerBear]

Hey @TheVorticon. Just thinking of you wondering whether you heard back from your psych about an appointment this week and how you're feeling about it all if you're up for the share?

[Appleblossom]

@TheVorticon 

It really does sound like time to change your therapist.  It was a doctor who suggested I change for no other reason that I was not satisfied. He also said that if I wanted to change every 2 years that was alright. I was really surprised by that and it took a while to sink in, but it was good advice.  They are all just human, and if nothing else it gave me sense that my peculiar thoughts, instincts etc mattered.  Having a health care team has helped me.  We dont have to sit with negative judgmental stuff that therapists do project.  We can move on.  

[TheVorticon]

Thanks for asking @CheerBear . I heard back from him and have an appointment this week. Hearing back definitely helped me calm down. And he finally seems to get that the thing isn't working, and seems ok to change how it happens. So fingers crossed for now.

Thanks for your input @Appleblossom. I really don't know about changing. On one hand all the issues with him have been good practise for resolving miscommunications or expressing my needs, but on the other hand they've also been really stressful and painful when they happen. Then, I feel so attached to him as a psych that the idea of never talking to him again is seriously upsetting. I feel like he is trying to listen and help but I have never been particularly communicative or accepting-of-help-able and that's affecting how things play out... so for now I'm willing to stick in there... I guess until the next rupture *rolling eyes*

[CheerBear]

Glad to hear you heard back @TheVorticon. Relationships with psychs or any kind of health professional, can be complicated and tricky. I get it.

Hope he responds to what's going on for you in a helpful way when you have your appointment. If you feel up for sharing how it goes, I'm interested in hearing.

[Appleblossom]

Thats fine. DO what you feel wnd know is best for you.  I have felt like that with my earlier therapists. @TheVorticon I have had to work hard to cultivate my gut instinct.

As long as you feel there is some respect and you are getting somewhere.  For the first 20 years I was uber respectful for their time and would never have expected a call back, but these days with email etc, there are different protocols and expectations.

The other side is working through your own transference issues.  Attaching to them as significant other is important for processing internal trust and abandonment stuff as well as learning to work within the system in the here and now.

Take Care

Apple

[CheerBear]

👋 @TheVorticon. Thought of you yesterday while I was at EB games. Next Friday is a day we're looking forward to here. Wondering if it is one for you too.

Also wondering how the psych stuff went/is going. I am not wanting to be annoying though.

Thinking of you 😎