Feeling caged up

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP sleep quality is super important, you could be sleeping a lot but not getting good quality sleep. Stepping away can be difficult, I do hope you are able to be kind to yourself too 💖.

I've been feeling a bit dissociative on and off today, it is getting unsettling. Maybe too much stress

[GezzaP]

I wake up frequently through the night @creative_writer . Sorry to hear you have been feeling disassociated today. Maybe I have been making you feel stressed - sorry if I have.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP nah, you haven’t made me more stressed than I already am. I got too stressed from everything that has been going on. Recent bereavement has been hard and past trauma is haunting me today. I’m scared

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer  Oh no scared. Hope you are safe. Yes your bereavement must be really tough especially as it brought up trauma for you.

I had tinned soup and bread for dinner. I eat my main meal at lunch time. Now I will have to drag myself into the shower and to the shops tomorrow. It is supposed to be warm with a few showers tomorrow.

puss was charging around like an idiot a few minutes ago. She has settled on my lap again now.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP certain names can bring up trauma response. It wasn’t the grief itself.

I hope you enjoy your meal. I’m going to keep it light for dinner, my gut is super sensitive and I get lots of anxiety around larger meals.

[GezzaP]

Oh yes keep your meal light then. I eat my main meal at lunch time. @creative_writer  I get anxiety too so I understand that. 

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP my nutritionist has got me eating smaller regular meals. Sensitive gut and eating disorder create challenges around food. I have heard in some cultures lunch tends to be the main meal. I feel like it’s hard to have a heavy meal during both lunch and dinner.

Certain people can be triggering. I am fortunate that I don’t have toxic people in my life. It doesn’t change historical trauma. My brain sort of lives on repeat.

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer I just get really badly depressed when I go down. My sister is being toxic. I’m struggling to stay awake. Thought the change to my meds would make me more awake but apparently not. I know what you mean about your head being on repeat.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP maybe check in with your doctor about the increased need of sleep.

I had to cut toxic people out of my life because they are so detrimental to mental health. I’m still dealing with the after effects. I’ve been through both little traumas and big traumas. I’m terrified of romantic relationships because of what I’ve experienced

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer I’m hopeless with romantic relationships. I have told my psych about sleeping so much. She just says to stay up later but I can’t. I just get too tired. But maybe the change of meds.