the dark side

[Bubbles3]

its easier said than done @Zoe7

its hard to do that. he wins every time

[Zoe7]

no he doesn't @Bubbles3 remember last time you pretended I was sitting on your shoulder and helping to guard you from him - I am doing that again Bubbly Boo 

[Zoe7]

are you talking to Kelly @Bubbles3 - focus on listening solely to Kelly and keeping your back turned to Mark

[Bubbles3]

My eyes close
I'm holding onto
my memories
and hatred.
my slumber
all alone in my head...
so silent.

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins
if I let go of my pain
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

war is coming,
I can hear it in my heart
blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent,
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

you beat me down,
so low and now
I'm crying my soul
I'm losing control.
you led me to
a place where I
can't feel my face...

death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come
a body left behind with no face
feeling numb
all alone I cry here
fading into nothing
all alone I lie here
dying...

...losing myself...

[Appleblossom]

@Bubbles3This thread has very beautiful and deep writing.  Not just dark. You can turn away from Mark.

I love your barf/laugh rhyme.

For too many years I was locked out of the nice people's world and ways of thinking or being.  I despised the "nice" word too.  I dont mean to come across too tough as I was hurt by the tough girls too. It is finding a middle path between tough and tender.

Inspite of the upsets last night. I feel I am really getting to know you. You have made a stand with courage and creativity.

You Go Girl.

[Zoe7]

That is why we are here @Bubbles3 to keep you from being lost - holding on tight right now and not letting you go. Breathe, focus on Kelly - just Kelly and this little flutterby sitting on your shoulder helping to keep you safe 

[Bubbles3]

So there is a monster
That resides in my soul
And I feed it like fire needs coal
For the pain never ends
It is like a stabbing pen
In this heart of mine
For where the beast resides
He growls and scratches
At the walls of my heart, of my chest
For When i sleep
I see the monster I am
The devil inside
He watches, he laughs
My dark side
For the side I hardly show
So when you see my dark side
Hell wont look so bad

[Zoe7]

You are doing a fabulous job at keeping the 'dark side' away as you write @Bubbles3 - really doing a great job - keep writing - I'll keep reading 

[Bubbles3]

Take a look at me now
Who I am?
I no longer know
Do you?
Do you remember me then
Back when the stars shined
And the day glistened
Who was that girl
Patiently waiting for you to come
Whispering soft lyrics
And holding breath

Was it me?
I don't remember.
Do you?

When the night fell
And wrapped around her
In soft velvet
Did you see her beauty?
Did you wonder what she was thinking?
Or was she just a ghost
Silently walking away

Was that me?
I can't remember.
Do you?

So tell me now
Who am I?
You created me.
I have no voice anymore
The whispers have been silenced on my lips
Can anyone hear me screaming?

I don't remember who I am.
Who I was or what I wanted.
Can you tell me?
Because you're the one who took it all away.
You're the one who left me this way.
But I guess you always got what you wanted.

[Zoe7]

Our silent screams are the hardest @Bubbles3 - no-one hears them but they echoe inside our own heads. You have such a gift Bubbly Boo - tears here - as much for the way you write as well as what you write