Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

Hello @Peri 

how are you today my friend 

[Peri]

Thank you @Shaz51 ,

 I am ok still sitting in bed drinking coffee.  It is grey here in the west , which makes me gloomy. But I shall get stuck into some housework a bit later, not that I like it, but it makes me feel better to have it done .  

How are you?

peri

[Shaz51]

ok here @Peri 

got the car in the repair shop needing new brakes 

so we are home now , just had lunch and a cuppa 

sunny and cool here today , just watching tv 

[Eve7]

Hi @Peri  thank you so much for answering. I was waiting to answer you as I realise you must have so many emotions at present.

It was lovely that you had such a precious time with your granddaughter. That must have soothed your sadness with the death of your step father. It must be comforting to have had such a special relationship with him.

I am sorry about the family Court business as I don’t know how anyone copes with that. 

I am sending kindness and love as well as any support you may need.

Always thinking of you

Eve

💙🧡💙

[Peri]

Thank you for taking the time to reply @Eve7 ,  I really appreciate it.

i have been really lost since my lovely step fathers death.  I did not grow up with him and my mother and the rest of the family. But met them all in my very early thirties, some nearly forty years ago. It has brought a lot of joy and tears as well to my life.  They all lived in Victoria and I grew up in wa. So since meeting them and going there often I have visited my mother and him at their funny little house.  Now that house will be gone and all about their home lost.  I will never see it again or sit in there and have dinner.  Something significant has ended for me. I cannot adequately express what is gone and how I feel.

i am also questioning why I come to this forum, you and a few others have been very supportive , but I don’t seem to be one of those people that others identify with and I think that it makes me feel lonelier than ever.  I think I have been like this since childhood and have experienced intense loneliness at times.  There has also been great happiness. I just need to find it again

peri

[Eve7]

Hi @Peri  It is lovely to hear from you as I've been wondering about you . I can understand that you must feel cheated to lose your stepfather when you hadn't met him until in your 30's. It is lovely that you did share many happy times with him and I'm glad you have a wealth of memories of your time together.

I was wondering tonight why. I stay on the forums but I'm gld I was here to receive your message.

i have to sleep now but please take care and we can chat again.

Eve

[Peri]

Hi, @Eve7 ,

thanks for your reply, it must have been the middle of the night.  

How are you going?  I have been a bit withdrawn the last few weeks. So much has been going on for me with my son and the family court stuff.  We attended twice in the last two weeks, with him having to represent himself. It has really strung him out and he is battered by it.  However the outcome was good.  His ex partner got told very firmly , but surely that the judge would not give her sole decision making and that that would not be i. The best interest of the child.   They have been given time to develop or oagree on a final parenting plan, but this is a good outcome.

i can now try to get on with some other aspects of my life.  I haven’t cleaned the house for. Few weeks and it more than needs it. 

How are you? 

Peri

[Emelia8]

Dear @Peri  ... I am really sorry to hear of the loss of your step father.  The COVID situation would have made it all even more difficult for everyone.  Clearly it has been a big loss for you and it takes time to recover from any loss.  And you have experienced a number of losses in relatively recent times.  Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to mourn properly and to then heal.  This is important for future adjustment and happiness.

It must be such a difficult task to be going through the custody issues between your son and your granddaughters mother.  Family law can be such a tricky and emotional situation to be involved in.  Little wonder there is so much bitterness and resentment around such matters.  It is all so highly emotive.  

Its restored some of my faith in the legal system however, that you have received a fairly good outcome from it all.  It must be a relief to you and your son.  And your dear little granddaughter will benefit from it in the long run.

I hope you do make the effort now, to get on with other facets of your life. Time to concentrate some time on you now.  Sounds like you have devoted a lot of time and emotional efforts on your sons situation lately.  Now its time for you and your future.  Which of course is inextricably entwined with your son and your granddaughter.  

Oh dear ... housework.  Unfortunately it doesnt go anywhere. No matter how long you leave it, or ignore it, its still there the next day.  How I wish it were different!

All that aside @Peri   ... how are you personally?

And a big hello to @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Former-Member  who have been keeping you company, while I could not.  I am grateful that you have had people around you who care @Peri .

Emelia 🌸

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Emelia8 @Peri @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Former-Member 

I am little short for words atm but sending good will and a pretty pic.

Tulipa

[Emelia8]

Stunningly beautiful pic @Appleblossom ... thank you.