Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

@Former-Member💖❤

[Former-Member]

Morning @Lee82, yes I did. My meds kicked not long after my last message to you. 

It's great that you have those things to try when your anxiety kicks in. 

I didn't take my phone down to my room this morning and missed messages from my ex husband, so I woke up to him reading his phone on my bed beside me. It was a shock at first but then really sweet because he was worried about me. Unfortunately by the time he left I wish he hadn't bothered though. He needed to talk about the budget and as always told me that I needed to hit my girls up for more money and so on... anxiety up again, all happiness of seeing him gone. 

How are you today my friend

[Lee82]

So glad you were able to get some sleep last night @Former-Member . 
That was sweet of your ex to come visit you to make sure your ok even though he had another agenda. He seems like he can be a good support for you. I know it's hard to lean on people but it seems like he is at least trying to be helpful even if it's in the smallest way. Any support is good support. 
my ex husband does not want to know any of what I'm going through. He has said to me in the past that he didn't go through the trauma when he was young so why should it be a burden to him. He has never been a support. He left me because he didn't want to deal with my depression and anxiety and he said he deserves happiness so why should he stay. 
I didn't get much sleep last night. Was up to around 5am so I'm pretty exhausted and I don't want to deal with the day ahead. 

[Former-Member]

I am so sorry your ex doesn't understand and is not supportive, that is hard. Also very sorry you didn't get enough rest last night. What are your plans for the day, is there anything you can put off so you can take it a little easier today?

I decided to take my kids their Easter gifts just in case we go into complete lockdown because of convid19. Have explained to them that I won't get out of the car and can't hug them and they seem ok with it. 

I will check in with you later @Lee82 💖

[Lee82]

It's very hard bacsue we have 2 young kids together so I still have to be amicable. Every time I see him all the emotions come flooding back and I hate that he moved on so quickly. We have only been separated for 2 years and a couple months after we separate he started a new relationship. He cheated on me towards the end of our marriage with a close friend of ours which makes things 10x worse...He only has the kids every second weekend and even then he cancels all the time. 
I would love to take it easy today however with the kids around it makes it difficult. I try to be as active as I can with them but it's extremely exhausting and difficult to be in the present and give them the time they need and deserve. 
great to hear you are getting out of the house a little even if it's just for a drive. 
talk soon @Former-Member 

[Lee82]

Hi @Former-Member just checking in to see how you are feeling? 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Lee82 , just wanted to say hello. Having a real bad day so just trying to keep myself busy. 

How has your day been

[Lee82]

I am so sorry to hear you had a bad day @Former-Member  Anything you want to talk about? 

[Lee82]

Sorry I didn't answer your question @Former-Member . It was a rough day to get through but I managed to get outside and play with my kids. I am feeling bery low atm

[Former-Member]

@Lee82 All good my friend. I have only just seen both of your messages. 

Do you want to chat about your day?

Mine just seem to spiral out of control, nothing major just lots of little things. My mother (long story) called about five times and told me at the end of every call that my sister works too hard!! I have reminded her that we both have the same job and do the same hours and before I was off I actually worked two jobs but she never seems to hear it. My son won't  return my calls, my daughter has been self harming again (her boyfriend called me today) workcover and return to work ordinator have both called and I feel like shit because I can't work yet. 

sorry for ranting, just little things but when I am already low have a big impact