why can't I cope longer?

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Appleblossom,

Your so life experienced

Got my first ever rental knock back Friday, everyone lies

How to you find your way in a world if deception. The trouble I went to to to apply, and the personal disclosures...  only because they said "pets on app"  then changed their mind... 

[Appleblossom]

Maybe link up with some rental advocates online.  Not nec to report but to find out what your rights are.  Try and distance yourself from the possibility of rejection.  Go through and apply for a few.  I have no idea how they can be so invasive and have heard horror stories even here on the forum, with housing inspections.

When I was facing the kinds of things you are now, things were different, some good some bad.

Dont give up and dont give in.

[Zoe7]

It is a hard place to be when you think that nobody cares or even worse we don't care about ourselves @Former-Member  - but often they go hand in hand  You are definitely cared for here by us though @Former-Member 

I know for now things seem impossible and part of that is struggling to find somewhere to live - hopefully something will come up for you soon and you can feel some of that security again. None of this is easy for you and I can only imagine how not having somewhere to live is fuelling your depression ...but it is the depression that is talking to you and you can get through to a better place - it does take time but it is possible. My thoughts are with you @Former-Member  

[Former-Member]

PENDING ROADTRIP LOL

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7 & @Appleblossom 

What's really hard is my brain not working. I seem to walk in circles, forget what I'm doing, so don't finish much, and it all closes in on itself. I think bow most the sorting andvpacking is nearly finished, think its hitting home that I'll have to say bye here too. Its much bigger than I can let on here, the attachment,

[Appleblossom]

Attachment can be strong with places or people. @Former-Member 

Sometimes its a mix and its hard to separate it out.

I have walked in circles too.  For a long time I thought it was cos I was losing my mind and did not know what I was doing.

As I get older I notice how many bushwalks are "loops" and start seeing the wisdom of walking in circles ... ha ha ... sometimes ... I am not being ridiculous or smart alecky about it.

Sometimes its in walking that our minds find themselves.

Then I got a celtic book about circles ... symbold ...

I have high fears of rejection, and often fiecely guard myself.  

Go gently with you.

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-Member It is hard when you have such an attachment to a place to be packing up knowing you have to move on. It would be making that even harder when you don't have a place as yet to go to either. Definitely thinking about you @Former-Member and hoping something comes up soon.

I understand about the going round in circles and not seeming to get much done - those days are all too frequent for some of us. I have learnt to let those days go more though and try not to dwell on them so much - it has been a hard thing to do and is especially difficult when you are feeling low - those are the times that it is easier in theory than in practice. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though - that leads to us further ruminating and gettng lost in unhelpful thoughts. 

@Appleblossom I love your descriptions of loops and circles and how they are so prevalent in our lives - we do have so much that go in circles including the calendar and time. Time, although it is always moving forward, also moves in a circle from morning to night and back again - and the sun always rises no matter how we are feeling. Sometimes we can take our lead from those things that aren't put down to chance but are a given each day.

[Appleblossom]

Yeah I went in a couple of circles today, cos I forgot things.  1) had to go back home to pickup paperwork for med plan. 2) Left supermarket bags in car ..

I have to laugh at myself.  nothing gained by heaping more crit on me ... just have to laugh and go back and do it right.

So now.  It its all done and I picked up cat meds and about to cook and go out.

I made progress by seeing the beauty, variety in celtic circles and patterns and stopped seeing everything in terms of weakness or pathology or hard life and agony and suffering  ... I was so primed to look for the abnormal cos of my childhood etc ... Full of fear and anxiety ... 

That is not the case now ... 

Take Care ALL

@Former-Member @BryanaCamp  @Zoe7 

[Zoe7]

There is a beauty in Celtic art @Appleblossom I especially love the symmetry in some of it - it shows order out of the chaos and that pretty much describes my life lol

[Appleblossom]

@Zoe7 Triskelion

and spirals