Trying makes it worse

[EternalFlower]

Hello !!

Hi @Appleblossom sounds restful typing on Ur back!

That was nice u got a hug. Hugs are the stuff.

How are you? How is the man u were helping with a lift?

I tried to cook tempeh tonight, it turned out badly.

Ur right cm has issues. She's very insecure I feel, and this job is in many ways beneath her years of experience. I also feel she's not very good at it, so she hides behind being bossy.

Her behaviour, her response, matters, in mh, they always write about my response, my clothes, my demeanour whatever.

It's her demeanour that shocked.

Hi @TAB how is Ur weekend?

[TAB]

Hi @EternalFlower my weekend was ok thanks. Went for walks. Hope you're going okay 

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower 

ah well ... I am not great at cooking tempeh ... tried a few times but gave up.

I have read all the comments in various files about my family and I.  Now I think it is a good idea to turn it around a bit, and do my own summing up.  Its great you are no longer intimidated by her, hope someone better comes thru soon, or she ... improves ..?

[EternalFlower]

Hello @Appleblossom @TAB @maddison @Peregrinefalcon @Eve7 

How are u doing and getting along this winter?

@Appleblossom I recently read through my docs (some, the ones they could find) and agree it's very stigmatising. It makes us brace for critical words on our very normal behaviours.

Cm attacked me on the street. Dysregulated? Angry? Aggressive? Tick, tick, tick. There is such a power imbalance between clinicians and patients, I have to try and be mindful of this. And emerge from scared rabbit to confident and strong.

@TAB Hope Ur OK?

@maddison hope Ur OK through winter, I am so numb to it. Is Ur place heated?

I am meeting hopefully with peer worker tomorrow, which I really enjoy. I have not been working much as I've had flu symptoms. Tonight they seem to be calling down. I had a really crunchy cough that made me feel really embarrassed. The cough lasted four days and was so incessant. Seems to have gone so hope I'm on the mend. Sometimes my body feels weak, sometimes strong. 

[Eve7]

Doing ok thanks @EternalFlower  but I am not a fan of winter. I’m a sunshine and beach type person.

Sorry you’ve been confronted by such stigma. It is hard and I feel for you.

Lots of love

💜🌺💜

[TAB]

Yes re power @EternalFlower maybe you need some Flower Power soz  😂 

try not to think about cm ? 
um Im ok. Prob in a bit of a rut think am avoiding things. Well I am. Got to pick up silly notepad tomorrow and get somethings ticked off 😅😸🤦‍♂️✅

nice to see you and thanks for the tag . I have a bit of a short attention span with people not seen on here in a while 

im mainly in Tabalugas music thread or good Morning 

Im warm and dry re winter.  My new space is less than 1/4 of old one . Power bill is negligible. I swapped near identical in appearance radiator before leaving. After got first tiny power bill I double checked. Its 1/3 max wattage of one I used before plus I would run other one as well ok big room no insulation , gaps around doors etc lol 

I haven't been to walking thread or achievements one for a while 

Anyway. Stay safe. I went to bed super early . Just woke. Going to get up for a bit . Backs not too good discovered after waking. Tension between shoulders telling me have dropped the ball w swimming again, having barely picked it up again. Well I swam twice in may. Hadnt been to pool in years. Need to get base level back up again. Oh and get a massage in short term . Goodnight 

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower  Good you are finding your strength. 

I have been called a scared rabbit once, startled like I was caught in car headlights. Went to pdoc today and had very good talk about "his profession"  a pdoc who I felt was abusing his power who I may have mentioned on here a couple of months ago.  How to stand up for ourselves without exposing ourselves to more issues ... can be delicate path.

I am not minding the winter. Have my lap blankie and heater on.  Went shopping for some more cardies ... keep those layers happening.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom how do u feel after Ur appointment, did u feel heard?

I had a very damaging psychiatrist at one point and sometimes it's hard to say that to mh professionals. I don't wanna seem like a 'complainer', many professionals have tried to help me reframe my notion of complaining. Speaking ones truth or saying "that hurt" when someone hurts us, is not complaining..,its a deep lesson for me.

Love the image of the blanket and heater. Keep warm and relaxed 😌 

I painted my nails a nice dark colour and am hanging in my bed.

I am watching a suspenseful show with Steve Martin and Selena Gomez. It's really fun and I like the odd coupling, although it's more of a light, fluffy watch.

Sending love ❤ 

[Appleblossom]

Your post made me smile  @EternalFlower 

I felt heard.  My current pdoc is decent.  I may put in an official complaint about the other fellow,  as I think the industry needs more regulation, transparency and accountability.  

[EternalFlower]

Thank u @TAB trying to focus on me. Bit vulnerable and shaky so don't need her drama.

It is just more headache with her, always ups and downs.

My support worker offered to speak to her for me, we tried Monday (cm sick) , we tried today (she had no time) and cm offered to call me tomorrow but I said no, as I won't have a support person then. I am meant to see cm on Thursday and it is going to suck.

Getting tasks done is not fun but the reward is you will have Ur notepad ! Hope it's good.

Don't worry if u can't write back I hope the tags aren't annoying. I only write here and get dizzy looking at all the other threads, like u mentioned, it takes so much of my attention and focus.

I'm sorry about Ur back, that's awful. Do you do swimming as a hobby?

I used to go as well. Hope Ur OK