Trying makes it worse

[TAB]

Oh , re swimming, I went to adult learn to swim like 25 years ago after realising I could barely swim anymore through not doing it had 'unlearned' it..

any went to lessons for months then stopped that and started going on my own and built things up til I could swim a kilometre non stop. Was doing that once a week ish  then got less and less til once a year ( was an effort) then a few years back having skipped a few years just couldn't do any like that anymore. Only noticed back trouble had gone away after years. Even though I was really slow, it was good for my heart too I could tell. 
so Im back looking at timetables ok opening hours at pool but cant quite make the next step. Ok I noticed pool had found on map first time ever other day so Im really running out of excuses lol. If I went as often as I thought about it ., I might be doing triathlons like @Eve7 lol 😅

[maddison]

Hey @EternalFlower 

How are you going? So nice to hear from you.

Sorry to read about ongoing problems with your cw. Sounds like you have her pegged perfectly. It's a real shame these professionals can't offer more empathy. Something that is largely overlooked & such a critical aspect. As you have said previously, it is an entire system that is broken. I suspect it would need to be dismantled & rebuilt for real change to occur. For the most part, I have the deepest respect for mental health profession, I could never be a mental health nurse & have no desire. I have great admiration & feel awe when I see a good one. Supporting mental health is something I'm personally interested in & think is important. Good on you for advocating for yourself & building on your strength to challenge labels or ideas that you feel are unjust. It is a strange situation to be in where to accept mental health support we must first agree to a system that is set up on the basis of an imbalance of power. Some mental professionals get it. Many don't. 

As @Appleblossom mentioned, there needs to be accountability esp. for vulnerable population.

If you don't advocate, no one else will & nothing will change. I'm really proud of you! The peer workers will be the key.

I was going to tell you about my tv viewing...! Whoops, maybe next time.

maddison 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB well dome listening to urself  and doing stuff that keeps u well, it is really amazing!

Swimming is something we don't do as much as adults without a conscious effort/choice

I hope u can get back at it, did u find anything hopeful on the timetable?

I like breast stroke best and probably can't remember how do the other stroke, the really common one? I'm veey bad at back stroke

today I sent a complaint about the cm through to her boss and requested a change...

Scary in many ways. But done now, no going back....

Ur house sounds like it heats up very well, have u been warm? Take care out there 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison 

Lovely to hear from you, and alone standing in solidarity. It's hard as a consumer, I am scared a lot of imaginary dragons so I am grateful for u standing alongside

The cm really went too far, and today I put in a formal complaint. Anxiety now is if she'll be aware of it, etc, and at what stage...oh well

The system is super broken, and I think rebuilding from scratch is a strong image. Maybe the things that have been done for a million years haven't worked, or haven't cared.

I would like to do some peer work one day, very much driven from this experience with cm.

I have a close friend, who I'll call J, who is always saying it's good I stand up for myself

I want to feel proud, but it's hard. I do feel like I'm more tuned in to myself and rejecting as you and @Appleblossom said really beautifully, their own stuff. Flipping it on to them.

So I'm trying not to think of my complaint today as a complaint.

I spoke up and shared my experience, which has been really destabilising of case management with this person.

She's called me many names and labels while I've known her,  and that wasnt seen as complaining

She'd preface it by saying "in my clinical opinion..." and then throw insults at me.

What I did was describe what happened and ask for change. Which is OK. A good thing to do. My right.

[TAB]

@EternalFlower  am in a caravan re heating up ok it might be 30 sq metres 

ah freestyle re other one

yes backstroke a bit of an effort . I had a sick day today so no exercise , was survival 

hopefully you have options re cm Good Luck at least you acted on it 

[Appleblossom]

Not sure what her quals are, but "my clinical judgment" may also mean she was befuddled and unaware of her lack of objectivity.  The relationship with cm has broken down and you deserve someone who will work WITH you. @EternalFlower that is what they are paid for anyway.  So I hope the powers that be recognise it and find someone better soon.  

I found it difficult to complain, heart wrenching, confusing and frightening, and let it build up inside me a lot before doing anything. Now I believe it is a healthy sign to speak out about things, and am doing so more quickly.  

Low self esteem and lack of social support for many people with psychosocial disabilities often leads to people being taken advantage of .... its great you are thinking about the Lived Experience work force.  Seeing possibilities is another good sign ...

Cheers Apple

[EternalFlower]

thanks so much, well said @Appleblossom 

She aaid "in my clinical opinion x 10 times and her opinion was that I was ruining the relationship with her because I carried a lot of animosity to her and we needed to work out why."

I was said " I don't have animosity towards you, thanks,"

I think a lot of us go through this in the system where a lack of support makes it harder to identify our rights

They call us all sorts of things, some true, some outlandish, and it takes so much strength sometimes to disagree. She gets very aggressive at times and her lashing out was so irrelevant to me  who was polite and calm. I feel bit more empowered now.

Making complaints is scary like a lack of control. I too, delayed. Then today I though, I'm sick of waiting for others ie asking ppls opinions etc or proof reading . I was happy with the complaint and clicked send.

It was a big moment for me!!

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB are you feeling OK? Lots going around ATM.

I went to the gp today myself as been feeling not great.

That sounds good if it can heat up. Hope u get some rest.

I didn't have energy to do a full food shop so I bought a few things only

Carrot 🥕 iced ☕ and some yoghurt . When I have no energy to cook I just try keep snacking going....

I hope u get some calm and peace 

[TAB]

Lots of rest here today @EternalFlower  yeah just run down, not been looking after myself Thanks

[EternalFlower]

@TAB I had the same  wasn't dressing properly for cold days. Hope Ur ok