Trying makes it worse

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower I do not think the 'case manager system' has a better way of dealing with a personality clash, but to try someone else and hope for better.  It does not help to get into an argument loop.  Formal complaint may help, at least it is registered with the service.

Responsibility is a word tossed around a lot.  From what I can see you are doing LOTS to look after your mental health properly.  Keep doing the right thing.  

[tyme]

Sorry to hear you have had a bad run with your CM @EternalFlower .

Out of curiosity, has it ever been explained to you the purpose of a CM? I know when I was first assigned a CM, I had no idea what they were supposed to do, which meant my expectations were skewed.

Another question (if you want to answer), what would you like an ideal CM to do?

Sitting with you @EternalFlower 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @tyme they told me a cm is supposed to work and support with Ur indivuual recovery goals, and meet approx every 2 weeks. They told me I need weekly sessions so have to see her once a week. She's been sick about 22 times.

I have had a cm once before and it was cool, he facilitated all my other appointments by following up, eg how were they, and suggesting other services, he was was like a spring board and locus for all my recovery services.

I agree I do have expectations, maybe skewed as I expect it to be similar to before,  supportive around me

I think she does nothing at all which is more her personality imo.

[tyme]

I hear you @EternalFlower .

I really don't know what to say. I have only ever had on CM. I really went into it and didn't know what to expect, so I didn't engage at first. Then, but the key psychologist phoned my CM and had a chat. After that, the CM was awesome. It was actually beyond my expectations - especially since I heard so much about the public system.

I'm grateful for the support i did get, but I guess it's about being on the same page.

Looking to hear how you go, tyme

[EternalFlower]

Hi @tyme thanks for your comment.

I don't want to upset anyone, but my opinion is different to what you have described, and I don't think in my case I have had too high expectations.

[EternalFlower]

Thanks so much @Appleblossom u are right and it seems sound.

I tried to avoid argument but did get into it as she started insulting me.

In future I'll just say I disagree but thanks for Ur input.

She went quite close to literal abuse making statements like " I will decide if you complain about me," "You're an individual adult and responsible for you own mental health" (when I asked the complaint process)

And "you need to think about how we have ALL (major generalisation) tried to help you, and why you are so difficult."

Her statements are irrelevant and non clinical, just her opinion. I don't need to be told I'm difficult...

I am still really thrown by it all but each day is a bit easier. Much love for being here

[maddison]

Hey @EternalFlower 

I have just caught up reading this thread as I have been offline a couple of days. 

I really wanted to reach out & offer my support. I can sympathize with all the turbulence you are experiencing at the moment.

I won't mention anything about (you know who - cm) as it's probably getting too much & they don't deserve any more 'space' on this thread - or in your head as @TAB mentioned. (Way easier done than said etc)

I guess my only input would be to not second guess your instincts that you have been mistreated. I don't perceive that you are. It sounds as though you feel clear about what had transpired.

When something bad or negative happens to me, even if I am certain it wasn't me - I always spend hours/days evaluating (proof reading) how I contributed etc. I guess it's like a loop in my head. I am kind of aware that my brain is being silly, yet I can't stop it. I guess what I'm learning to do (reminding myself to do) is to observe the loop & horrible emotions from an alternate place.

I don't think it feels like it helps in the moment - although, it might be helping get past things faster & with less "residue".

I'm not sure if any of that is relevant. I really wanted to let you that you know, I think you are chill! & You are not alone.

TV viewing is going good. I'm still watching Colony. It's still 'ok'! 

Thanks for sharing.

[EternalFlower]

hi @maddison @Appleblossom thank u for Ur support

I do have some self doubt as she did hit some points of insecurity, it has thrown me a lot

I do think she's all bark though and am not sure what she'll do going forward, will she try and push me out of the service, does she really have any grounds? Not much of what she has said makes sense.

I know I shouldn't obsess, but I'm still pretty shaken up. I have my head on my shoulders trying to move through 

[maddison]

Thanks for replying @EternalFlower 

Your emotions are totally valid. 

Maybe I'm wrong, it kinda sounds like these things have been boiling up for a while & now maybe it's reached a crux.

I know from my observational experience, that having the right cm is critical.

You are strong & intelligent.

I hope you have other supports in place that you can reach out to, or call the different support numbers. It's also commendable that you are posting on here when you are feeling shaken up by the things that have occurred.

You seem to be navigating a solution even if there is no clear one at the moment. Keep walking forward.

Maybe writing a letter, when you feel in the right head space, outlining the negative impact this had had on you & also the qualities that your ideal cm would have, would help? If you want, you could give to the clinic if you think it might be helpful? Or maybe your peer worker?

Be kind to yourself. Seek extra support. You are important.

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower 

Its good that you feel supported at least through checking in here.

You have the insight about obssessing, which in my experience, is not something you can directly control, but gradually let it go, accept it, dont feed it, and let it go, again and again, as often as necessary, until recedes into the past.

I am glad your head is still on your shoulders.

 

The thought of pumpkins and pudding on our heads made me laugh. Hope it lightens your mood.