Lived Experience Forum

[Moongirl]

Hi everyone. I just joined this forum and am hoping I can find others I can chat too. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. Diagnosed at 17, medicated at 23 and still on it.

Since November last year, my life has had a major downward spiral and I just can't seem to pull myself back. 

My children won't speak to me, I don't get to see my grandkids (1 of which lived with me since birth) and it's killing me. I'm now suffering broken heart syndrome as well. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Jynx]

@Moongirl hey, welcome to the forums. Glad you found us, hope you find this to be a warm and welcoming space 😊

Sounds like there's so much going on for you, and not having contact and support from your family is such a painful thing to endure. I'm really sorry that this is happening, and I'm glad you're reaching out for some connection. 

Do you have some family you're still connected to, or close friends who you can lean on for support? What about professional mental health supports? You don't deserve to go through this alone hun, that's for sure.

[BbNan]

Hi 'lost',

I joined SANE this afternoon. I saw your post, and you have yet to receive a reply, so I thought I'd send a quick message of support. 

I am also going through a super difficult time. I've sustained a work injury, and I've been pretty unstable since 18 months ago, which means specialists are adding more medications to the mix. Difficult times are difficult for anyone to handle, and unfortunately, society doesn't understand how difficult it can be for those living with depression or any other mental health diagnosis. What is helping me is to reach out to as many local community and medical services as possible, even by phone, when no one is available. I mean, this doesn't fix the issues we face, and it doesn't magically make things go away, but I can guarantee you that it does help, even if the difference is like having six bad days instead of seven bad days in a week. In any case, I see my GP, a Psychiatrist, and a Counsellor/clinician who is assisting with deteriorating mental health. I will soon ask my GP to sort out a mental health care plan, and hopefully, I can join a community group for further support. However, as it stands, my condition makes me isolated from people, which is also part of my illness, and I find it hard to make new connections that are not online. 

My message is that we are not broken and need extra support to navigate this journey called life. I know things can be super tricky, and life can seem hopeless at times; this is also part of the mental health diagnosis, which makes us believe all sorts of things, which most are not necessarily 100% correct about ourselves and perhaps even about how the world looks right now.

Long story short, I hope this message finds you as well as it can be. We don't know each other, but I hope my message delivers a little bit of sunshine. 

[MedicinalGypsy]

I can connect I get moments lost, I'm so sorry to hear about your children 💔 😢 I lost my 2 children to parental alienation and it's heart breaking literally. I practice a little pray I let you go with all my love and I live in hope 🙏 ❤️ they were 6 and 8 sending strength and healing to you @Moongirl

[SkySeeker22]

Hi @Moongirl 

Welcome to the SANE forums.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time at the moment.  I know how hard it is to have your life spiral and to loose supports that you always thought would be there.

As @Jynx mentioned - do you have any supports available to you at the moment? Friends, other family, or mental health professionals?  It may be worth getting in touch with your GP and explaining how you are feeling and what has been happening for you since November, they may be able to suggest other supports for you as well.

Even if you don't have any other supports in place at the moment - we are here for you on the forums!  I'm so glad that you reached out.

When my life spiraled out of control I found it really hard to get perspective on things that I needed to do for myself - general life stuff like cooking or cleaning, everything else just seemed to take over and it felt like there was no way that I would get my life back.  It took me quite a while, but little steps helped.  Breaking tasks into the smallest task possible to make it feel like i had control over something and had the power to do something to help myself.  For example instead of cleaning my whole kitchen, I just cleaned one thing like the bench, or a "selection of dishes" (think glasses or cutlery or  plates ONLY).  If that felt like too much on some days it was just a glass or a fork for example.  These little tasks really helped me feel like I had control over something and when I was able I just kept adding another small task.

I also found that doing something nice for myself once a day helped me value myself more - is there something small that you can do for yourself today that you can do to make yourself feel a bit better right now? (my favourite little thing for me at the moment is a cup of tea)

@BbNanWelcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out and sharing your story here.  You are so right -we are not broken we just need extra support.  I hope you find this for yourself on the forums too.

Warm regards

SkySeeker22

[Moongirl]

Hi Jynx,

Thankyou for your response. Yes it is hard with no support. I have a couple of people I can talk to but I always feel guilty and would rather be there for them as they are going thru some personal problems themselves. 

I am seeing a psychologist, but although she's lovely, she's not really helping. 

I want to go back to work but being around people makes me anxious and nauseous. I feel like I'm going mad.

Since I lost absolutely everything, im now living with a friend and I am very grateful but they are constantly having a go at me. Itcomes from a good place but I just don't need that right now.

[Jasper_123]

oh @Moongirl this all sounds very difficult for you, I am sorry to read of the struggles you are going through! At other hard points in your life what has helped you?