I need feedback with my husband.......

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sounds like it @Appleblossom ..... keep taking care of you ..... which includes speaking your mind and heart ......

Yes @PeppiPatty ..... that's it. We are alll human, and we all matter ......

[PeppiPatty]

Dont you agree @Faith-and-Hope that @Appleblossom gives these little rays of intelligence .....that stops you in your tracks.....

But I feel you @Faith-and-Hope.... your amazingly getting through. So am I .....in the same state in Australia....is'nt that amazing......

[Shaz51]

hello my special friend @PeppiPatty ,

Hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Appleblossom, @patientpatient, @Former-Member 

A mix of humour and politeness is hard at all time , but at times when mr shaz stands up I will say  "It is your Turn " or Can you put the jug on for a cuppa , etc

[Appleblossom]

Oh Yes @PeppiPatty

He has acknowledged his wrong doing and mental state many times in the last month, both on the phone and in person.

I am distressed as his father seems to be quite relaxed about letting all the blame fall on his own son. He is one of the "laid back American bong a day for 15 years" types .... At least I got him to stop taking drugs and smoking all substances in our children's home 30 years ago, even before our son was born.

SO I focus on the positive, am used to him treating me like a fool, but not liking him doing it to OUR SON at this critical stage. I try and MINIMISE his ( father's) irresponsibility to KEEP THE PEACE but am still shocked by it.

I feel prouder of my son's approach for reasons .. not just blind mother's love.

SOrry for all your situations too.  We are ALL doing it tough.

[Former-Member]

@PeppiPatty
Sometimes I ask "would you like a cuppa?" If Mr Darcy says yes I say "well when you are getting it can you make me one too"

[PeppiPatty]

dear @Former-Member

it's Not that ....'if your making........' it's about Mr Darcy not being passive and showing Respect and graciousness to you. 

A please and thankyou would not go astray. A kind gesture would not go astray. 

We went to therapy today at Relationships Australia. The therapist was saying....."I don't know what I do for you two. You are both very unique in how you see the world......" I was very suprised. Can't he see how he makes us feel safe when we are both vulnerable in his therapy room? 

He worked very hard on working with Mr G with him saying that Mr G will actually see a carer one day per week for a month or two to give me a break. 

I cannot believe it. 

wow. Now lets see if it really happens......

[Appleblossom]

Actually  @PeppiPatty

I woke up pretty annoyed with BB today.

SO how is that for cyber indirect relationship.

I have not heard how BB has APOLOGISED FOR HIS MANY MANY more BAD decisions thorughout his life, which included pretty over privleged support in family, corrections and medical profession.

I would like to hear about his sense of remorse for wasting so many resources including his own life.

I do not want my son and and BB's situations equated too much. Peppi

I am feeling my reservoirs of patience strained by BB all the way over in the east.

Pls dont enable more of his bad behaviour. I get people off the hook too often.

You do tend to overblow the gorgeous hubby routine and make a lot of excuses. Not sure why?

He aint the only one to quit smoking and dope. I still have not had much credit for it.

In real life or on here.

He should grow up and man up and pull his little finger out.

You know I am not blow away by the poor ole paranoid Sz routine as I have known far too many, with much harder lives than BB.

Shooting straight from the heart and the hip. 

He relapses and I am wiping him.  That is also called a boundary. I know when I am through supporting someone. For very good reasons.  I will still be your friend if you wish ... but a line needs to be drawn in the sand.

My son and I SUFFER for feeling a drain on the system and we are very productive human beings.

End Apple tanti.

[Sanatorium23]

Time for my partner, who has schizophrenia, is different to the way I experience time. It sounds like a very tough 2-3 months, but considering what he has given up while still battling the schizophrenia that 2-3 months may not feel that long to him.
I'm new to this forum so am a bit unsure about offering any advise, but I agree that he needs to be made aware that he is bossing you about and that he doesn't get to do that. It's one thing to do things for him another if it's becoming demanding. I have to do most things at home and pretty much everything outside the home as my partner is not great outside. I use humour too if it's getting a bit much, but also call him on it when he's just being lazy or lost in his mind. Does it help? Not sure, but it makes me feel better for standing up for myself and making my feelings known. My feelings would be completely submerged if I didn't champion them and this at least makes me feel like they are there and are being recognised (even if sometimes just by me 😉). I hope this is in some way helpful??? It's very very hard indeed!

[Faith-and-Hope]

" My feelings would be completely submerged if I didn't champion them and this at least makes me feel like they are there and are being recognised (even if sometimes just by me 😉"

This has been me @Sanatorium23 ...... and I have been invalidated now by a professional for trying to express this ...... grrrr ..... but I think that is because most of our iceberg is still submerged ...... and my hubby is presenting as contrite and eager to learn ...... one of his many "personality states" that he is switching between, and I am coming across as deluded by trying to reveal that this is our reality .......

Huge sigh ...... and trudges forward ......

[PeppiPatty]

@Faith-and-Hope @Sanatorium23 

Huge sigh and trudges on........

Yeah, I'm with you @Faith-and-Hope. I feel very lonely and frustrated. I got out some thread and crochet hook and wil start crochetting a place mat.........

Mr g just told me that he is sweating a lot and he's just fallen asleep..........

my youngest son just fell into depression so called him and left a message. My oldest son is forever on my mind. I have been still writing my slow mail cards. I sent one today and will get 2 more to send for tomorrow. 

So, now my husband is still difficult, snoring all day, in a really bad mood in the morning and falls asleep and still orders me around all when he is awake.

It's been about 2 months since he quit smoking, He said his bad mood is because he quit smoking.......grrrrr...........

It's a never ending drama of excuses ......