I’m 28 years old and have been living independently in Australia since I was 18. It hasn’t been easy—I’ve struggled a lot on my own—but I’ve always worked hard, saved consistently, and stayed focused on my goals. I take pride in being financially responsible and family-oriented. Over the years, I’ve managed to save well and even invest in land back home. I have big dreams of travelling and exploring different countries, and I’ve been steadily working towards them.
I met my partner in 2022, and we are very different when it comes to values and lifestyle. When we met, he had no savings and was already in debt of around 10–15k, which I now believe was due to gambling. He doesn’t believe in saving, yet often talks as if he’s financially very successful. He has a joking and teasing nature, but at times he crosses boundaries—not just with me, but with others too—which makes me uncomfortable.
Despite our differences, we stayed together, had our ups and downs, and supported each other through the PR process. When our PR was granted, instead of stabilising, he took out a 20k loan. From that, he gave me 5k (as I had previously lent him 26k for his land and house back home), but he spent the remaining 15k on gambling without even telling me. On top of that, he financed a car and has ongoing financial commitments of around 2k per month back home.
I kept hoping that with time and patience, things would improve—but gambling is something I find very hard to trust or accept. Recently, when my parents visited, I felt disappointed by his behaviour. He showed little humility and spent most nights out with his friend here in Sydney—the same friend he often gambles and spends time with in pubs.
Now, I feel torn. I want to leave the relationship because I don’t feel secure or respected, but at the same time, I’m scared. At 28, I worry about starting over and whether I’ll find someone else, especially since he was my first boyfriend and the first person I lived with.
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