Fragile

[Till23]

@Appleblossom I saw you recently responded to a post.

I hope you are going as well as possible after today's events

[Shaz51]

thinking of you lots my sister @Appleblossom 😍

@Jacques , @Zoe7 , @Faith-and-Hope , @Ru-bee , @Till23 , @Dimity 

[Faith-and-Hope]

♥️ @Appleblossom  

[Jynx]

@Appleblossom hey hun, sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Life throws curve balls every which way at times, hey! 

Thanks for feeling okay to be vulnerable with me as well hun. I can hear how much you have had to endure, and you're right. So few people can ever understand. 

Aye, words and labels carry power - victim, perpetrator, but everyone always is just doing what they think they need to do to survive. 

Same goes for you, with your infant son, with the pressure you were under. You cannot be blamed for not coping under circumstances like that. 

Anyway, sending some 💜 and 🫂 hope your Saturday is going smoothly!

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope @Till23 @Dimity @Shaz51 

@Jynx don’t worry I have always been patient. Comes with the lifestyle of orphanages in the 1960s with unwell parents, whom I did love regardless. It even says it in my ward file. Thank you for your response and good will and wishes.

Did heavy garden work today to distract while also doing research about the legals. I so wanted to avoid messy court cases but I cannot do nothing and let them destroy my son. Females can do shocking coercive control.

My grandson was conceived after my son sang lead role in fundraiser for bushfires. That is who my son is, not the endless character assassinations.

jynx… what is coping? I am seriously too weird with what I have coped with … what is function and dysfunction? I am too resilient and my physical issues reflect that I have kept working throughout it all. De Quervains is also known as Mother’s thumb. I am grateful for my physio, she has awareness of my neck condition, although this current situation is exacerbating it. @Ru-bee my son is doing lots of self calming, a bit of music, a bit of distraction. He is so used to it, he is sad, low energy, but no anger. I am the one who is outraged. If I do nothing I cannot live with myself, so I need to take action. It will be legal so I have to be careful re anonymity on here.

Tomorrow I have a music group across town. I will skip church. I don’t NEED to be there as I am not playing the organ. Self care, my neck and de Quervains are not good. I am agitated, but calm down through labour, as well as all meditation breathing approaches. Sleeping is not great but I will try and be careful. 3 brief neighbourly chats while gardening in the court. Blue Skies…. Is a great song. 

[Jynx]

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@Appleblossom wrote:

jynx… what is coping? I am seriously too weird with what I have coped with … what is function and dysfunction? I am too resilient and my physical issues reflect that I have kept working throughout it all.

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Good question! I think of coping as like 'handling challenging situations'. What is 'handling' it though? Cos to my mind coping doesn't automatically denote coming out unscathed, just that you survived it. A person's ability to 'cope' will be directly related to their prior skills and experiences. 

I think that's like, one of the definitions of trauma I've read too - 'trauma' is any experience that pushes a person beyond their ability to cope. 

Function vs. dysfunction though is a topic that will definitely take me down a rabbit hole of anti-capitalism ranting lol. Is it just describing able-bodied people? Why would my natural brain wiring I was born with be considered 'dysfunctional' if not for the society that labelled it as such? 

Aww yessss sounds like some tippy top self-care!! My neck has been extra stuff, too, we can do some neck stretches together!! 😊

[Till23]

It's good to see you on the forums @Appleblossom 

I am sorry things are not good for you and your family right now. However, it looks like you are handling things in what seems to be your style which is pushing forward despite adversity. You are very resilient.

I understand the strategy of using heavy garden work I also use physical activity as a one way to manage my MH issues and especially if that is outside in nature.

I hope things work out for you, although it sounds like it's going to be a bit of a journey.

[Appleblossom]

I did music today. Spoke to retired barrister who said I need to put in 2 IVOs and that other parties are clearly manipulative. I am not sure what the right thing to do is. I am not sure if I have capacity to follow through. Maybe bottom line I owe both son and his son, that I put something on record to stand up for balance and right, but I do not have a lot of faith in the process. 

@Till23 Yes, I have used physical labour all my life to get through traumatic situations cos things get more traumatic if you don’t do the work. Whether it be sewing, renovation, walking to and from work or school…taking care of younger people. I don’t know what normal is.

Today I did feel better in the group. The badly behaved psychiatrist kept reasonable distance. I admitted being agitated and despairing to a friend but also was supportive and jovial, whilst dealing with suicidal ideation. I do need to be careful with all the driving when I am upset.

@Faith-and-Hope @Dimity 

[Till23]

Such a complicated situation by the sound of it @Appleblossom 

As I said I have used physical tasks and sometimes the more physical the better, having a wood fire, I think, is great because I like watching the flames and feeling the warmth, but also because of the physical work of chopping wood with an axe and carting the wood. 

I am glad you felt more comfortable in the group. 

You certainly have a lot to deal with currently, but you've shown your resilience over a long period of time, so I'm sure you'll get through even if it won't be easy. And please be careful with driving

[Dimity]

@Appleblossom it sounds very stressful.  I considered an IVO many years ago when feeling harassed and intimidated but didn't follow through. I guess I felt it was a way to reclaim autonomy and agency, by setting a clear boundary. 

It's certainly a big step that formalises the dispute and could escalate ill-feeling to the extent the relationships can't be repaired. In my case although I didn't pursue the IVO permanent estrangement eventuated anyway. I feel quite bitter about it, it was a sad and difficult time.

It's good the badly behaved psychiatrist is behaving herself a little better. Perhaps you can laugh about it with other colleagues. 

Please nurture and maintain your self-respect and don't doubt that you're trying to protect yourself and your family. I wonder if you know or have influence with third parties who also know the difficult people you're dealing with. It may help buffer or ameliorate things. 

Take care Apple.