Fragile

[Appleblossom]

HUGS AND HUGS @heartathome 

I appreciate your goodwill and the things that we do share.

I dont mean to be clinical or abrupt when discussing complex concepts. I do plan to write more next year, so that then I can unpack thing more.  God, you should have seen all the dense complicated stuff I have read over the years.  I guess I have integrated a lot and been personally impacted.

Eg Jacques Lacan ... Talk about depersonalisation and derealisation.  LOL...Did he have NPD?  He had a big celebrity student following.

have you ever looked at him @AuntGlow @AlwaysMyself @Dimity He was all the rage in my undergrad .... now I am old enough and socialised with enuff academics to take them all with a grain of salt. Had time to reflect back...

[Appleblossom]

You said "But i am grateful that some people get funding for the supports they need. I know many many people who need it miss out too."

I AGREE wholeheartedly.  Not sure how NDIS will pan out for you. Yes. They are trying to cut costs. Yes they do need to manage the Mental Health side better. SANE @RachSANECEO please look into how Sane can advocate for better comprehension by NDIS for mental health 

TBH ... I dont think "psychosocial disability" is a very good term. It conflates concepts without doing the complexity of unique individuals and their diverse cultural circumstances adequate justice.

It is actually why ... I mentioned the mouthful of

Psychoanalysis and Social Theory .... and Sociometry .... 

a few posts ago.  Because "psychosocial disability" is still insulting to the participants.

@heartathome 

Maybe I am trying to teach ... advocate ...

There must be some reason I got so lucky at uni....

@AlwaysMyself 

all that swatting 40 years ago should show some fruit.

@Dimity @AuntGlow @Shaz51 

Good luck with your journey ... on or off NDIS. It aint all its cracked up to be, but we also need to be grateful for any benefits.  BUT MINIMISE any HARMS done.

Honestly, yesterday, I got triggered by the incompetence of my local area co-ordinator. aka LAC. He was supposed to submit a revised plan and actually get the bloomin names and details right in my plan.

Yes I am lucky to be on it, but not to be treated like I am an idiot, or insulted in my own home or excessively bossed around, which has all been a COST to ME. I am too compliant, but learning to stop. Or having people try to scam me or the govt. As an ex ATO worker I am getting on my high horse these days, with the rubbish I have had to swallow.  Hmmm.  I do know how bureaucracy ought to work.  Today, there is too much "copy/paste" .... ERRORS ... which can have massive impact on what is actually on the "paperwork" of people's so called files.  A LAC ought to be able to read and type English if he is being paid a heap more than me. At least 4 times as much, to be exact.  I am disgusted.  He words things so I look like a total incompetent, but his comprehension of my case is lacking, though he has known me for 6 years. I have been such a model participant. Most years, I only cause him a couple hours work, and he complains about his case load, as do my son's case workers.  I am over it. They should stop whining and find a bit more compassion for us, and DO THEIR JOB.

Sorry about my rant.

Re CHOIRS

My son and I got through our performance today despite all the challenges thrown at us.  My son made members of the senior demographic feel good about themselves to be able to put on the show.  My nervous system was still very dysregulated after all the stress of the week, but I had better sleep last night, and I took a prn to help manage. We also left ASAP at the end. Job Done. I couldnt cancel as I had leadership duties of care.

NO THANKS to my son's so called MENTAL HEALTH clinic, who really dropped the ball.  Note When I am cross, I am probably still being overly polite and understated.  They really activated my threat response.  Bureaucratic Complaints proceedings are not enough to right the wrong.  I am not going through another ... being fobbed off ... experience.

On Sunday is a Carol service with other choir.  Thank God, I dont have to do weekly sessions until after my trip away. We start back in February next year.

[Shaz51]

@Appleblossom , @Dimity , @AlwaysMyself , @heartathome , @AuntGlow 

With my physical health problems,  NDIS keeps sending me things to join but I do not know what they can do for me at the moment 

I am on DSP, and NDSS 

My husband with  mental health problems and Asd , and is on DSP, 

NDIS only cover asd people under 65 or they have to go to aged care 

@Adge , how did you go with NDIS 

[AlwaysMyself]

@Appleblossom i wish i knew a way to advocate also for what its like living as a "high functioning" person with a mental illness disability. 

I honestly dont expect to get ndis funding. But i owe it to myself to apply. However i am concerned about how not being able to access financial supports affects my willingness to keep living when i am then dependent upon family for costs of living. But i am extremely lucky that i have a family member who wants to help me financially with my support costs because they would prefer that i stay alive. But i dont want to "sponge" off them.

[Appleblossom]

Hearing you about cost of living issues these days. @AlwaysMyself 

Its not easy.

I have 3 nephews, all living with their mothers, and my son lives with me.  Its not like it was in the 1950s.  We need to rethink some of the norms, about generations living in the one house, and not presume leaving home ... is the only sign of maturity.

[Appleblossom]

 @Dimity  You said:

"I'm old enough to have lived through the closure of institutionalised residential psychiatric hospitals and the failed promises of roll-out of community services, and the later closure of charitable and State-funded services after the introduction of newer neoliberal models of self-managed care through fee for service providers federally funded by NDIS. At various times psychiatrists expected me to fall back from sickness benefits to disability benefits but I clawed my way back to the labour force. It was a rocky ride and unsuccessful overall. In terms of the UDHR I missed out on many freedoms most take for granted. It's probably left me cynical."

I agree with pretty much all of your post.  I am really glad you shared. I am not cynical so much, as OUTRAGED, and have a fire in the belly about the issues.

I have a terrible story about the closure of Mont Park, which I will not post fully here about. AI tells me it closed in 1990. I have more accuracy than that. Related to both a death in my family, and a babysitting arrangement for a staff member who told me got the old piano from the ward, which he thought I might appreciate as he knew I was piano teacher. My stories revolve on the edge, the margins, the liminal spaces.  I am not as dumb as I look on paper or irl.  I have a LOT of terrible stories.  

I agree about your observations about the Recovery framework.

I have been facilitating in Suicide Prevention and related fields for some years now. I have spoken to a lot of Lived Experience people. I am committed to advocacy. I have not been paid enuff to shut up. So there is BLESSED FREEDOM for me to say what I think now. You will proud that I earned $45 in superannuation. Its not even worth keeping me on their database. Lucky it wont upset Centrelink! lol.

@AlwaysMyself @heartathome @AuntGlow @Jynx @rav3n 

We can talk more about NDIS .. in further posts.

[Adge]

Hi @Shaz51 The NDIS is so complicated.

I think we need a pHd in NDIS Studies, just to understand how to make it work....

I'm still trying to get my Supports (under NDIS Plan) in place.

I met a Support Worker last Monday, who can help me with Social & Activity access.

She seemed very good, kind & empathetic.

They can also help me with some Meal Preparation Support, if I need it.

This coming Monday I'm meeting another (2nd) Support Worker.

So if that works out okay, I will have both of them (2), for a few hours each, each week.

I hope your NDIS works out well for you.

😊Adge

[Dimity]

@Appleblossom Mont Park? I experienced Larundel. And have heard first hand stories of life at Royal Park from someone who was a young nurse there in the 1950s - medieval re facilities, treatments and attitudes of staff towards patients. Some day I'll share but it's graphic. My sympathies to you and your family, both lost and living. You've carried a load. 

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity I never was inpatient, only ever visitor.

Mum first went in when I was 4. 

Weirdly, when I lived with my grandparents, grandfather was ward assistant there, so I know the "2 days on 2 days off", 12 hour long shifts reality too.  Both sides again and again. 

@AlwaysMyself 

I muddle up Mont Park and Larundel. Though I do remember Heidelberg Repat in 1970. Was it weatherboard with surround verandahs wheras the others were brick or stone? I was mainly visiting when I was 10, so clear memories, but not factual details. So I have an excuse. Yeah and Royal Park was in the mix too.

Then was the period when other and sister were inpatient a lot, from 1980s to 1990s.

Then my son.

I would rather them lock me up than my family.  That they wont, makes me smell a rat. They know I am too educated. SO though very vulnerable with my early brushes with the mental hygiene system, not so dumb any more. Yeah I have seen the fashions flow up & down like hemlines.

A lot of varied experience.  

Can you see why I find the Recovery Model a little reductionist, silly and even selfish at times. I want to know causes and cures. It can be fine if it is balanced by other approaches and not overplayed.  Fake window dressing is not acceptable. 

[AuntGlow]

Good afternoon, lovely!

How are you? @Appleblossom 

I have just caught up with what's been going on and my gosh, you must be exhausted!

Am I understanding right that the prosecutor withdrew their charges against your son?

Also, regarding your choir performance, it sounds like you both handled it with so much professionalism, given how you were feeling at the time. 

What support have you had in your world over the past week? 🫶