Fragile

[Jynx]

@Appleblossom I 100% agree with you about the limitations. I am a big advocate for the powerful transformative possibilities of a healthy therapeutic relationship, but I think that there is a touch too much emphasis on individual healing, and not enough on the social and community aspects of our lives. 

Like it's one thing to open up to a therapist and have them give you acceptance (yes, love it, can be so healing) but to share the same sorta thing in a room full of people (e.g. a support group) and get acceptance, kindness, and understanding? Phwoar. 

We are social creatures and I fully think that our healing needs to be more social too! 😊

[Appleblossom]

Yes @Jynx yes to the importance of community and groups. Been working on that steadily. Thanks for talking with me. Boundaries are pretty new territory for me. I have been studying them for 5 years but it is all so different to the way my personality developed so none of it comes easily. I just don't find it easy to conceptualize what will even be helpful. Bought a couple books on it etc. I always thought that bridges were more important.... Yes I get the theory. I am grateful I have a front and back door in my house. It is one way I think about it....

[Jynx]

@Appleblossom a friend recently reminded me that knowing something academically and knowing from experience are two different kinds of knowing! So actually using boundaries can be way more complex than the theory can often account for e.g. sometimes it's not actually about the boundary or how it was expressed, but about the inability of the other person to receive it and respect it as a healthy expression of your needs. 

Bridges... feels like boundaries are complimentary, not antithesis to bridges in my mind.... what do you think? 

[Appleblossom]

Complementary is a good way to describe bridges and boundaries @Jynx 

Yes the academy and Lived Experience are different ways of knowing. I have had a bit of both. Still not clear about the way forward but going step by step.

Appreciating the conversation.

Theory and prac.... Are important.... In science and music.... I am very mindful of the complexity in applying "ideas" to real life situations.

[Jynx]

@Appleblossom it can be difficult to know the path forward hey. Sometimes it's a recovery plateau, or burn out, or I've had times when I realise that I've simply gone as far as I could go with a particular therapist. There's all sorts of factors that shape recovery, hey. 

Optional follow up reflecty prompts for if you wanna chat on this more - are you feeling stuck, or at a loss? Or is it a feeling that something is holding you back...?  

Mm it is funny how much we crave easy-to-apply concepts and labels, but then the universe shows up in her infinite complexity and shows us that there's always more nuance to be found. 

Also very appreciative of the conversation 😊💜

[Appleblossom]

On the nuance and variety of the universe… had a lovely moment just now with lovely barefoot Sikh mum and her toddler son. Special reflection: She appreciates my garden and wanted some cuttings. She particularly liked a white succulent which shone in the night time with different colours. Another neighbour scoffed at me calling it white, probably cos it wasn’t as white as his brand new runners.

Learning for me…again… I am very slow to learn this… don’t let other people’s opinions get you down and discouraged.

@Jynx I am often “at a loss”… more than the other options you gave… at a loss of what to say or what to do… but no choice but to keep trying…. Something…

got 2 choirs today that will need my keyboard skills.

when not sure…. My go tos… are music and gardening.

@Dimity @Till23 

[Till23]

Hi @Appleblossom - nice to hear from you.

I am not good at thinking other people's opinions are just that and not necessarily the truth. So I usually take negative comments pretty hard. Conversely if someone says something nice about me I question and often reject it as not being true. Funny how the mind can warp things.

I'm so glad you have your music and that your skills are appreciated.

I also like gardening and often do that as a way to calm myself, not today though as it's pouring and my plants might get root rot!

[Appleblossom]

Hugs Bella @Till23 

yep … even in Australia, there can be too much of a good thing… water…lol

[Till23]

Yes @Appleblossom it never rains but it pours is quite appropriate right now 🤣

[Dimity]

@Appleblossom I have pieces of white succulent in a jar in the kitchen.  Picked them up from a nearby naturestrip.  

My nextdoor neighbour walks barefooted.  In Van Eyck bare feet signified being on hallowed ground so maybe he's an angel in disguise?