@heartathome i felt another verse to the poem of the other day would be appropriate
See what you think
Those To Be Pitied Most Serving Lies.
Those who think themselves better than others,
always receive arrogance and pride as brothers.
Their lies and deceit spoken mothering disdain,
fathering the eyes lighting ever burning flames.
So are those who hate people God made good,
to stamp on other skin colours their ugly boot.
All hell breaking loose the evil they propagate,
for they believe skin colour does them elevate.
Also believers heeding unfaithful spirit of religion,
raise god an abomination causing only desolation.
In truth and Spirit to worship, not by religious laws,
good works cannot safe anyone from satan's claws.
Then those who say that our Creator doesn't even exist,
and at The Word of God Almighty shake their angry fist.
The ones claiming living a life of lies never ever matters,
heeding lies, blowing their own truthful reality to tatters.
@heartathome Thanks sis. i have been struggling with anxiety for a few days already. i had some horrible voices a few days back, and i have still not fully recovered from hearing that. However i have been giving all my anxious times to Jesus for i know He can handle them much better than i can. Now simply waiting till the anxiety cycles past. Still a bit shaky at times, but hoping today will be a bit easier.😰
@REDLINEZ750 @Glisten @Moose123 @ENKELI @Appleblossom @avant-garde @Shaz51 @Bessie78 @tyme
Death Fear Ruling.
To fear lies will loose Truth's immortality,
trepidation raising a false prophet within
Having you think and feel untrue thoughts,
which daily has you dig more of your grave.
Even as the sting of death goes so very deep,
Have lighting strikes melt your bravery to jelly,
heart frying lies unavoidable demise seeing true.
fiery flames barbecuing you down in dark Sheol.
However fearing The Lord brings much wisdom,
conceives a true heart birthing Christ's good life.
Word in deed proceeding from the Father of lights,
God's Spirit bringing Christ's eternity Alive in you.
For overcoming lies that bring fear through Christ
birthing our Lord's immortal life right from Above!
His Spirit have your heart beat praises to The One,
who's love burned up all the lies ruling you death.
@heartathome Yes anxiety sucks. Sad to hear you also suffer here. For me it seems much more body memories, than actual memories. For i do not really become frightened in my mind any longer, but the feeling of anxiety remains anyhow.
@REDLINEZ750 @Glisten @Moose123 @ENKELI @Appleblossom
Growing up a paranoid schizophrenic had me fight my (what i termed unreasonable) fears since very early childhood. Always challenging myself to overcome my fear, by facing the fears i had. For i hated myself being fearful in my religious alter. For i thought of myself as a little kid run scared and a faithless weasel fro there was NO reason to be scared yet i was. Normally i'm not a fearful person at all, only when an anxious mood strikes do i change dramatically. (Something i could never understand until i finally understood i was mentally ill and had C.P.T.S.D.)
i know i have done a lot of psychological damage to myself doing that, for it developed the extremities between my alters to be very extreme. Me not understanding how come i would suddenly become such a fearful person, that i would even hide away, convinced people were out to get me, with my heart beating in my throat, and voices in my head scaring the hell out of me, when nothing was going on. How i used to hate myself falling for that - time and again!😓
Now my anxiety is usually sparked by events. Like this time. Where The Wicked, those horrible voices in my head which are always after my life, try to scare me to become like that again. Such an episode begins with anxiety coming around. For my not only my hands but my whole body will begin to shake. When going full board, my sweat will begin to stink really badly, and often run down my arm pits by the bucket load. And then those crappy voice will begin to cut down my safety. Trying to make me do stupid things, like they used to get me to do in the past. (if only i can tell you how much i hate this happening to me.)
At one stage in such a fearful mode i ate foxglove leaves out of the garden because i was convinced i was having a heart attack and about to die. Of course i got unwell from the leaves, and my wife had to take me to hospital. Luckily i ate only little of the leaf, for foxglove is highly toxic. For although the drug in it can assist with heart attacks, only professionals could do so, not me in a panic attack doing silly.
Anxiety has been my hardest symptom, apart of the voices themselves to deal with.
( @heartathome And yes i did write the second poem about The Wicked.)
@heartathome My troubles started with anxiety from hallucinations i suffered from as a child. This has also cemented the C.P.T.S.D issues. i'm not sure but i think my psychosis in a bad way only gets going when i suffer from an emotional overload.
TW: schizophrenia experiences
So if my child fears triggered my schizophrenia as a kid, or if my schizophrenia was there before already i'm not always sure. i do know that my earlier psychotic memory, i think i might have been as young as 3 not older than 4 anyhow, is seeing Jesus in the sky on the clouds looking down to me and asking me if i wanted to be (like) Him. i said yes.(This was an awesome experience at first!), though i been attacked mainly by evil voices ever since, as far as i can recall. (Apart of once when Jesus told the devil to get out of my heart for he tried to steal my love when i was about 17, and to my astonishment at the time satan did go, furious he had to! i now that i have learned to hear Him rightly of course, spiritually instead of through my hallucinations, though He can make my hallucinations Heavenly, and has often done so.))
Yet after that first experience my hallucination became predominately evil voices. (Though i did not know it were hallucinations but fitted meeting Jesus like that, as well as the evil voices The God and devil my mum had taught me about.
As to street drugs, i know such can really bite mentally ill people in the bum. i know a lot of schizophrenic people who have really spun with hallucinations and voices. i have heard about people who became 'schizophrenic like' using it. Yet i have never met anyone thinking like this, (blaming the drug for their mental illness,) who did not end up having a mental illness/trauma in the first place, but the drugs made this come out in devastating ways, which did not happen otherwise for they suppressed it within them otherwise. (i know this also happened to me.)
A lot of the crap out there is NO good whatsoever, but also the wrong use of God's good creation always ends up going bad on people. Abusive of otherwise good medications do the same.
i found the same with most natural occurring substances as well.
For example
i had a big alcohol problem as a teenager and young adult, as well as smoking tobacco, yet Jesus made all of that come good. Now when anxiety is bad i drink a little alcohol, for i found that can really help me calm down. i thank Jesus, and give Him control, only to treat the anxiety, not my hurt, anger or to get blotted, as i love to be so many years ago. i hate the idea of ever drinking too much again and wake up the next day.
The same with nicotine. As a smoker it was so hard to stop smoking because niocotine gives an enormous boost to our mood. However it only lasts a short time and is HIGHLY addictive taking like that therefore. (The same as i found out with certain (calming) barbiturates have on my as well.) And when i stopped smoking my depression got worse than it had ever remembering having it. Yet now i use nicotine regularly through patches. Whenever i'm deepest down and feeling drained, i will put one on in the morning, and take them of again straight after dinner, for otherwise it will keep me awake all night. That is how much energy i get from using them, and very often it greatly improves my mood. And even after using them fro a week like that no craving or hanging out for them at all. Yet when i use them longer than a few days the effectiveness begins to wean, until after 2 weeks it stops benefiting. So i only use them sparingly as to have the most benefit during my hardest times.
Coffee is another 'drug' that i have abused in the past suffering from insomnia. i drink percolated coffee the Dutch way, that is very strong, Because i was always so tired from the medications they put me on i began drinking coffee like it went out of fashion. 15 large mucks i could consume with ease in just one day. In the end it cost us an arm and a leg, for i went through a few percolators a year making coffee to feel a little more human, as i would say.
Yet today i drink at max 2 mucks in the morning to wake up, usually i do not even finish my first one lately from the nausea. Maybe during the day, when my wife is home, i have one more, but often not, and then one at night, so i can stay up and be a little more alert spending time with my wife or browsing the web before bed time.
Not only do i love coffee, it can really help my 'hampering reality' straighten out. For when my thoughts come in and out kind of thing, for my brain is not processing the information, especially medications make this bad, like a hangover can do, then coffee is a life saver for me. Helping me focus and getting my brain straight as i this wonder seeing it happen even as i drink it.
Not mention there various psychedelic drugs that can be used for good, and do not have have a bad impact. i know i have experienced both side when it comes to that, and know that with Jesus things are always fine and beneficial. It is learning to give him control, and understanding truth from the lies using anything that might benefit us. i know this is where my addictive/abusive issues often lay in the past.
