Hello @Appleblossom
I am responding to your posts from yesterday and today.
Like you, I am aware of the issue of different backgrounds that are in conflict during times of education and employment. The feeling of being out of place in almost any place. I grew up living on the “wrong side of the tracks” in a family where the father wanted to retain what he believed to have been his English heritage and background. In part, because of that, some very negative school experiences, and some strongly held moral beliefs that were in contradiction to the evolving “freedom” of the late 60's and early 70's, I found myself out of step with most others of my own age. I actually felt more comfortable with those either very much younger or older than I was. I can also identify with the sentiment,
“Sadly all my biological family relationships have been distorted and damaged by lots psycho-social issues.”,
which is why I am more alone now than lonely.
Possibly because of that background and two marriages that were unsuccessful engagements, I expressed myself through work, assisting other people from a wide variety of backgrounds, who sought opportunities in Australia to gain employment and make lives for themselves and in many cases, their families. While many of the clients were from Australia, there were others from various backgrounds and countries who arrived here as refugees, some of whom were highly qualified in their fields before having to leave their countries of origin because of political or religious disharmony and unrest. There were other people with and for whom I worked with aboriginal background and culture. I admired many of those people who had come so far, in terms of contemporary achievements, from what I had known of their backgrounds that existed even during my childhood. Though I worked in other types of employment, I felt and believed that I contributed to community through that part of my employment where I was able to assist others in their search for meaningful employment.
One fellow, I remember, was so appreciative to have been offered a draughting position in a firm when his qualifications were that of a design engineer. It was the way by which his English language skills could be improved. However, I have no doubt that he would have done well. Brought to mind by your description of your support worker.
I know that I did not have to deal with many of the situations to which you have only obliquely referred. However, I was not well regarded in my own small family and seemed always to be an 'outsider' in most other company and can very much identify with your reference to “being socially isolated and "on the margins".” I was seriously underconfident, almost to the point of anonymity. To be honest I never got so tall as to be considered a “tall poppy”, but I do understand the reference. There were often times when I felt very uncomfortable, with what may be regarded as “the Aussie way”.
It is with sadness that I also recognise your brother and sister. I feel that I may understand some of the pain that they and you possibly felt.
It can also be painful keeping some people in our lives. And there sometimes comes a time when we can no longer continue to do so. However, such decisions are very personal.
The words of the poem Desiderata – "A Way of Life" by Max Ehrmann come to mind:
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons....."
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I also believe that I understand when you say:
“The ones who espouse similar beliefs usually have no idea of the life I have lived and I fall prey to casual judgements. I do not take them personally anymore, cos they are just way off the mark, but still I suffer the exclusion.”
It is so often the case that those who are quick to judgement are probably and most often those least qualified to do so.
I hear what you are saying about the fellow to whom you refer as “support worker”. People of the calibre that you describe can give us cause for humility in ourselves and a sense of significant admiration. While at the same time we can recognise that
“He also has a good sensitive heart and soul and has courage, ….”
That sense of adjustment to unknowns, like snakes and spiders and their relative potential for danger. I am amazed that I used to play in swampy bush and around piles of timber in my childhood and do not recall having seen a snake till I was an adult; maybe they saw me first. And redback spiders, my brother killed on sight, which I could never understand.
Though I do understand the importance of having been the observer where;
“I have seen sad stories in the news about newcomers losing lives in our outback and ocean areas, so I share how to make the most of the beauty and wilderness, while gaining understanding of the risks.”
Even local people, here in Western Australia, die trying to walk for help, days after their vehicle has been found. They would have been better staying with the vehicle, as people are so often advised. So it can be a savage country.
I very much enjoyed reading of the recognition of cultural differences and the development of “a beautiful relationship” that can give a sense of freedom and expansion unlike almost any other.
…....... “ ….......
“
I like that expression,
“Ooh language is so funny and often a clumsy tool, even when we are careful.”
I have reserved some thoughts in this discussion. Trying to keep a balance as I have spoken of elsewhere.
Thank you @Appleblossom for the stimulus to express, the opportunity to respond, the chance to relive admiration, to enjoy some thoughts from my past, and to feel as though I could speak in a way in which I felt comfortable.
With My Very Best Wishes
@HenryX
