Feeling caged up

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP glad you were able to find psychs. You can start narrowing it down to speciality.

@AuntGlow I just took my meds, will try to get to bed by 9:30. I need to perform my night prayers and get ready for bed, like brushing teeth and skincare. I take forever to get ready for bed.

It’s weird my abdomen is hurting, doesn’t usually hurt this much. My period is still a while away, so it’s not that. It’s around about the area I get period pain, except it’s one sided. I booked into a female GP just in case

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer I’m already in bed as I woke up at 5.30am this morning. That’s a side effect of the change to one of my meds. It takes me a little while to get ready for bed too and my puss used her litter so I had to clean that up too. Puss has joined me in bed. 
Hope your pain is not serious and glad to hear you have booked in to see a GP.

Also hope you can get to bed by 9.30.

i will aim to go to chemist and shops tomorrow: it’s going to be warm here tomorrow, so I might do some washing as well.

hang in there rough day for you and seek help if you need it. Good advice @AuntGlow 

[AuntGlow]

I love how proactive you're being! @GezzaP  I can tell how much you're wanting to shift this pattern of smoke and get support for your mental wellbeing. You deserve it. 💛

I hope you get some rest tonight @creative_writer, remember that we are always here for you. 

I am keeping my fingers crossed that your pain subsides soon and that's it's nothing too hard to manage. I get this sometimes too. Sending lots of healing energy your way. 🥰

[GezzaP]

@AuntGlow  the smoking is a beast and having bipolar doesn’t help. But I need to kick the habit. I am trying to find a psychologist nearby. I’m in bed with my cat. 

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP pain is better today. My hormones have been out of whack lately, been getting longer periods. Probably should get things checked out just in case. Not sure if it was hormonal or gut related. Was getting a bit of spotting, but that might also be a mid cycle thing. I hope you are doing better today💖

@AuntGlow the emotional pain is hard. It’s hard waking up day after day still experiencing body flashbacks. It brings up so many big emotions. I’m doing a bit better today

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer @AuntGlow  Glad to hear you are doing better @creative_writer .

I slept really badly last night so I’m really tired today and my back hurts. Periods suck. I don’t miss them at all. A bit concerned the change of meds is switching me over to mania. Not sleeping is a trigger for me. I only slept for about 3 hours. But I still got some things done today. Showered went to chemist and shops. Called a friend in the US. I wrote a book with her years ago. 
Arranged to see a psychologist privately initially. Will try to get a mental health plan from my psychiatrist Tuesday. @AuntGlow 

Looking forward to footy tomorrow. I will make a day of it.

My chemist didn’t have stop smoking tablets in stock so I’ll have to go back when they come in, hopefully not tomorrow. Have smoked more today as I woke up so early. Will take extra sleep meds tonight (my psychiatrist allows me to do that). Drank a lot of coffee today.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP I've had plenty of menstrual cycle disturbances in the recent months, I wonder if that is affecting how I've been feeling. Constantly feel like I'm getting rid of facial hair. Like it's not as severe as many women get it, I don't think I have PCOS, but something feels up. Maybe I will try to get some bloods done. Maybe my leaky gut, ED and stress is messing with my system.

I hope you are able to get some sleep, 3 hours is barely anything, that would trigger me too. I hope you are able to get the smoking tablets soon. Nothing wrong with taking extra meds if it'll keep the mania at bay. Do go easy on the coffee, too much caffeine can cause mania and sleep disruptions

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer Yes I know I should watch the coffee but I didn’t want to fall asleep in the afternoon. I won’t have anymore. I hope to sleep tonight. My psychiatrist allows me to take more sleep meds if I need to only a bit more but that is ok.

I will hopefully be ok and sleep tonight.

So pleased you feel better today. Hope you have been able to eat something. Did you do your workout today?

Puss is on my lap. Will disturb her and get up. Need to stand up for my back. Took some painkillers for my back and it feels better now.

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer I imagine your problems would disrupt your menstrual cycle. I’m due for bloods in November. I have low salt levels and my cholesterol was up last time. I don’t have any problems with facial hair. But I have a rash on my chest that the GP can’t explain and which flares up sometimes. I am on a waitlist to see a specialist. I have been waiting years.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP I don’t have caffeine after 4pm. If I have it afterwards, I can’t sleep. Glad to hear the pain feels better.

Nutrition wise I did eat a bit. Anorexia is tricky. I think I probably need a dietician to manage my nutrition. It’s tricky, I’ve got to manage gut issues and sensitivities but also improve my relationship with food. I react badly if I eat food that doesn’t agree with me. I have histamine issues, sensitivity to gluten, probably other sensitivities like lactose intolerance and processed food is the worst. Probably have microbiome Dysbiosis. With EDs you don’t want to create too many rules, but sometimes sensitivities exist.

I hope you are able to see a specialist soon, a rash sounds very uncomfortable. It’s crazy how specialists have such long wait times. Do you have allergies, or do you reckon the rash is related to something else? I’ve only had allergy related rashes, I’ve got some mild ones rn, I need to use the steroid cream, it feels icky. I’m just not very good at remembering.