In January last year, we got the devastating news that my mum‘s breast cancer had returned and was metastatic. She tried some fantastic treatment and we were absolutely overjoyed in early September to learn that while she would never be cancer free, at 83 she would live a healthy life and outlive her cancer. Two weeks after coming together to celebrate, my mum was tragically killed in a single car accident on the road to our family farm. My brother, who was working in a paddock at the time, witnessed the accident and desperately try to save her. Despite his best efforts, and those of the first responders, we lost her. I’ve never been so devastated in my life, and felt like my very heart had been shredded. Our family imploded after her death, it seems like everyone lost their decency and sanity. I tried to stay calm and to keep positive and to be supportive although I was struggling and it was extremely difficult. As an executor I was trying my best to keep the family from crossing lines they would never be able to recover from while saying goodbye to years of memories as I sorted through her possessions. It took weeks and weeks for my mother‘s body to be returned from the Newcastle coroners and planning the funeral was a torturous experience. Hundreds of people turned up for the funeral, so many more people than I ever thought she knew and I was so appreciative of their kindness. Just a few months later, as I felt life was getting back on an even keel, I visited my elderly aunt and found her in an awful situation with just 8% kidney function. After a dramatic afternoon i arrived home to be told by my husband that my mother-in-law, who I can deal with in very small doses, was going to be visiting from overseas and staying with us for three months. She arrived and amidst supporting my broken family including my mother‘s brothers and sisters and organising my mothers ashes, I endured 3 months living with a bitter, selfish woman. She insulted my family and myself so much that at one stage I left my husband and my home for three weeks because I really couldn’t take it any more, something I have never done before despite 20 years of marriage. I felt extremely let down by my husband even though he was very angry with at her. Just one day after she finally left I fell off a retaining wall, hit a metal fence and fractured my humerus, resulting in a shattered arm with paralysis. 4 months later I am still in a brace and sling and have to sleep sitting up. During the past 2 months I began my sixth job restructure at the New South Wales government in as many years, organised long term care facilities for my auntie and began cleaning out her and my uncles spare apartment which is a hoarders paradise, tried to hug my 16 yo dying cat and carry him to the vet, started a new job that runs out in December and adjusted to my husband losing his job. My siblings are still struggling to come to terms with mums death and are constantly fighting and my husband is treating his job loss like a holiday. I am working full-time, and am single handedly managing everything else that is going on. This has all happened since last September and tonight I sat down and felt that I was going to break. I just cried and cried. How do people manage being overwhelmed like this. I do appreciate finding this site and just being able to put down my thoughts to try and find some clarity. I feel for everyone who is struggling and going through hard times at the moment. Thank you for listening x
