Struggling with trauma

[Gwynn]

Thank you @rivergal and @Last-Lament for being with me. @Appleblossom, that sounds like a good movie, I might give it a go. 🙂

I just tried ringing a hotline to say that I'd had this attack and I was scared and the person on the phone didn't even ask me if I was safe. I might bottle it all up for my regular psychologist appointment on Tuesday, unfortunately.

[Appleblossom]

Sorry about helplines ..

@Gwynn 

Hope you like it ... my son does not approve of my sbs style lol

...

[Last-Lament]

Hi @Gwynn - Sometimes I just don't have the words, and the wee support button just lets a person know they're heard and seen, and that others relate to them and their situations. 

I'm so sorry the helpline was more of a helplessline. It takes so much effort to contact such lines, to be disregarded in the simplest of ways makes it ever harder should there be a next time. 

I hope you're having a better night tonight doing whatever it is that with lift  your spirit. 

PS Nothing wrong with being a Pollyanna.

I've been a 'Pollyanna' for the majority of my life, (I loved that movie) sadly, these days it's worn off, the light prisms are all dusty and the rainbows have dulled. 

[Gwynn]

Thank you @Appleblossom  and @Last-Lament  - I had a hot shower to help unknot the muscles in my back and I went to bed. I told one of my friends that I had had a setback but that I was going to be ok and now she's worried about me. Oops.

@Judi9877, thanks for being here for me. 

[Gwynn]

So apparently I did the right thing by sitting with my emotion and trying to self soothe. Apparently caring for others can also help to heal oneself.

Part of me wants to write to the disability organisation that treated me as a child to say hey I have lived experiences, are you doing any research on the prevalence of childhood trauma and serious mental illnesses in people with my condition, but I don’t know how to make it convincing to a stranger. Does anyone have any ideas?

[Appleblossom]

Glad you are feeling a tad better.

Is there a support group for the condition @Gwynn like there are for diabetes, cerebral palsy, cancer epilepsy etc ... and try and get them behind you.

[Gwynn]

Thanks, @Appleblossom.

There is the one that treated me as a child, however, they seem to treat their 'clients' as being the parents of current children with my condition, rather than the people who live with my condition themselves - because it's often seen by parents at a very early age. (6 months for me). It's important for those parents to be well-supported, but I found it a bit unsettling to be back at the organisation (I tried just pre-NDIS), as if I was purely an interesting data point for these new parents.

Do you have any ideas for how to get the org. behind me? My psych suggested I do a deep dive into the research and write like an academic letter to them with my results. That should get results, but the downside is that that could take a lot of time to do right without making me feel bad.

[Appleblossom]

Ach! @Gwynn Sorry they made you feel that way, rather than developed a way for adult survivors .. of the condition.  

Writing letter in that way could be good, but might take work.  Practical, editorial and medical support of pdoc would help.  (If they are up for it or just see themselves in a narrow way.)