Winter solstice

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity I have a Simon and Garfunkel book open on my piano at the moment, choosing a song for singing group. Lol

love the concept of soulcare.

family fragmentation is really hard. There are usually complicated webs of trauma and inadequate resources and misunderstandings that lead to it.

Do what you have to do. 

🙏🌈

I need to fine tune things and tidy a few things, but I have to get through to next year, so tossing up the different commitments… plus being kind to myself.

🍎

[Dimity]

I think you're right re causes of family fragmentation @Appleblossom .

Being kind to oneself can be hard if it hasn't been modelled by kindness from authority figures. And innate kindness to others also needs outlets. 

Prioritising and balancing commitments... while being aware of capacity... but perhaps building capacity? Good luck Apple

[AuntGlow]

I hear you, and you're absolutely right. Some days are better than others. I think that's where meeting yourself where you're at is really, really helpful.  @Dimity 

How can you be kind to yourself whilst you're in survival mode? 

And have you been practicing any piano? 💛

[AuntGlow]

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@avant-garde wrote:

@AuntGlow 

I have a process to creating my own sheet music... though I am not great at chords.

I write my own words and sometimes a melody just comes with them. 

I record it on my tablet and then use a note recogniser to write the note with each syllable

Then I use a program on my laptop to create the melody line with the notes and recording. 

I then get a pretty background and have it photo printed as Christmas presents in a simple frame.

Often times I actually scan letter writing paper into the computer and use that as the background

In the small card I write it has a url that connects to a folder online that has the pdf sheet music, the MP3 export from the laptop program and a copy of the lyrics.

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Oh my gosh!! I love this SO much. This is so creative and meaningful. How do you feel when you create your own music? 🥰

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity Looks like we are both online at the same time 

I am exhausted, it’s from good busyness.

how are you?

[Dimity]

Good busyness... the right kind @Appleblossom .

I'm processing a confronting appt with a specialist today. There's stuff I need to follow up asap but family problems have been preventing me. 

[AuntGlow]

Hoping you are okay @Dimity. 

I am leaving now, but would like to hear more about the appointment when you're ready? I will read tomorrow. 

Very happy to see you and @Appleblossom have each other to talk to tonight. 💛

[Dimity]

@AuntGlow I tagged you on another thread rather than repeat myself.

I'm very relieved to be discharged from postsurgery review as it was a bad experience, being nearly 4 weeks in a succession of 3 hospitals after complications,  a bad fall then psychotic relapse.

I'm still working through legal and banking quagmires. One legal one means family have vetoed what I've been told is an essential medical investigation until I've finalised a number of legal documents. Another one bordering on financial abuse will cause further ructions. And I've been compensated for a further banking dispute I'm still extricating myself from.

My home isn't safe in the longterm so emotional and financial commitments to staying here aren't wise. My trauma background hasn't helped re sense of security and belonging. But I'm balancing that against likely life expectancy so am not rushing into decisions. 

I want to look for joy in small things but have been preoccupied and losing track. I'm not sure where I put the music books and list of local activities. Time for my walk! Something I do make time for. It gives me hope for committing to other things.

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity confronting health issues are NOT GOOD. So sorry you are having to deal with so much at once.  Do you trust the specialist ?

Sending prayers that you find the best way through the family and legal quagmires. It all sounds heartbreaking and expensive. 

I have had a good week. Overall my feelings and interpersonal relationships have been challenging but I am staying the course.

 I am glad you are getting out for a daily walk. I can’t say I have been as good on the walk and exercise routines as I was, for years. I seem to be distracted by lots of music commitments. I am glad I am well enough to keep all that humming along. How did you find the physio? I will do a walk tomorrow . 

[Dimity]

@Appleblossom thanks. I found the (confronting) specialist a bit overbearing and abrasive but I trust his judgement. He showed me the evidence of why I need to follow up asap. The other specialist who discharged me today is also forthright but very caring. They're both good people.

The physio has been good for me but I slacked off because of another health problem now hopefully being addressed. I've had an assortment of ills but almost all now being dealt with or deemed innocuous.

The paperwork is tedious. I'll be placating some family members but antagonising another, who I'd actually been trying to protect for as long as I was able.

Next week I'm hoping to reconnect with mh supports. It's been tough going. Touching on aspects with forum friends has helped a lot.