not coping

[outlander]

@Eve7 

 why are you in rehab? sorry im not up to date with everyone

is it sad that even after a few weeks of not a heap of interaction with pop, i dont really miss him.

i feel abit lost, like i have the new job and stuff like that which is great but i feel lost. really in transit. i thought having a new job would make me feel like i have a purpose but it still doesnt really.

i dont really feel like a person, i dont know how to describe it. i feel more like an empty entity wandering around.

i havent been staying at home because it doesnt feel like my home anymore though in reality it never really was, it was more pops home and i was the one staying there but its even worse now that it seems like its not my house with the person just moving themselves into the house. i have no power to move her out because its not my house and pop doesnt want her out. i think im just stressed. i dont know atm.

[Eve7]

I had surgery on my foot last week and now I’m in rehab for a couple of weeks @outlander.

I have physio every day so hopefully that will sort out my recovery.

I didn’t realised you’d moved out of home. I won’t ask questions but I really hope this leads to a brighter future

[outlander]

oh dear @Eve7 hopefully recovery goes well

no i havent moved out of home. im just staying somewhere else atm. pops not at home and i cant stand the person in my house so im staying elsewhere atm

[Eve7]

That’s not good @outlander Just when you could have had some peace at home you’ve had to move out. So sorry

😫

[outlander]

yeah she a long lost relative so to speak @Eve7 havent seen her for over 10 years (might be close to about 15 years actually) and decided to just move in and take over everything. no one else can see how shes taken over everything because its been done so subtley like cleaning the house (but in reality what shes been doing has been making room for herself and basically getting rid of things she shouldnt be getting rid of. and just being in the way all the time. no one else sees that though and no one talks to me anymore. since shes been here ive heard so much bad stuff come out of her like blaming me for pops fracture when i wasnt even there and it wasnt anything to do with anyone! and apparently none of the family like talking to me because i take over and yet it doesnt seem to matter how much help i ask for theres no one there until she rocked on up but its not to see me its to see her and pop.
see - just an entity floating around that means nothing hey.
i even found out today that my uncle msged my great uncle asking how pop is instead of talking to me and we live 5 minutes from each other. the great uncle lives more like 6 hours away from here closer to where pops in hospital atm but even the great uncle said they should be talking to me.
i cant walk away from pop but the way its going im just going to be pushed out whether i like it or not.

[outlander]

hey @Appleblossom

[Appleblossom]

Hey Bella @outlander Its a difficult situation.  Sorry so much is going on.Family relationships can be so complicated.

Self care Self Care.

Your new life can evolve.  Find a way to make it work for you, thinking forward, more than behind..

[outlander]

Thanks @Appleblossom
im planning on getting a new car soon and once ive finalised paying off a new car im going to try and go for a home loan and try and buy my own home

[Appleblossom]

Sound like good plans @outlander 

I do not think "younger carer" protocols have been properly worked out yet.  I know for me it was not, and I have not heard a whole heap of worthwhile stuff about it.  Know you did your best, and it is no longer your responsibility now.  Hope you meet some more people closer to your age who are good for you.

The circle of what we can control and what we cannot.

You probably know all this stuff ...but I often find it helps to return to old ideas ...

 

[Snowie]

Hi @outlander 

Glad to hear your surgery went ok.

Sounds like you have lots going on at the moment.

Sitting here with you sis 💌💌