Mental health

[Eugene]

I am the mum of a 28 year old who had suffered from depression low self esteem and now diagnosed with epilepsy not the fall down tremor type one called status which can last for hours. The first episode I thought what drugs has he taken. Anyway the last weeks have been extremely difficult. He hates his job his boss is an a/ hole life sucks he doesn’t care etc etc. I have contacted mental health he won’t answer their calls. He is angers and can’t think straight. I don’t know what to do.

[Jynx]

Hey @Eugene welcome to the forums! Hope you find it to be a warm and welcoming community. 

I'm sorry to hear about your son's situation, that's so heavy. It sounds like still a relatively new diagnosis? It could be he's still processing the news, or is perhaps in denial and not ready to acknowledge it, let alone seek professional support for it. At times, the hardest thing for a loved one of a person with complex mental health is feeling helpless and frustrated when they refuse to seek or engage with support. Sometimes the best thing we can do is focus on ourselves and our own mental health, until that person feels more ready. Do you have any mental health supports in place?

Just in case - if his anger does ever turn to aggression and you worry for your safety, or you're ever worried that he may harm himself or someone else, please call 000 straight away. You can also reach out to: 

Your local CATT - See this link for details/which number to call based on your location

1800RESPECT - Family Violence hotline 

Lifeline - suicide and crisis helpline

And for non-crisis support, feel free to buzz SANE's Support line - 1800 187 263; Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm, or for ongoing support check out our Guided Service. The counsellors are a lovely bunch, and it always helps to be able to get stuff off our chest 😉

[Ainjoule]

Hey @Eugene 

I really just wanted to welcome you to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about your son's situation, it must be really tough to accept and adapt to your son's diagnosis. And all the more difficult when he doesn't want to accept help. But @Jynx had some excellent ideas. I hope you find a community here where you can vent, find ways to practise self care and work out ways to help improve your son's situation.  

[defaultusername]

Hi @Eugene,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing.

I'm very sorry to hear about yours and your son's current situation, I can only imagine how stressful that must be for you both…

I agree with @Jynx's very helpful advice, in that I hope you are able to look after yourself? I know it's hard, especially when also worrying about your son's wellbeing and with such a recent change in his health, but we do need to look after our own mental health to be able to care for others.

So good on you for reaching out on here for some support, that takes strength. But if you ever do need more support, the services that Jynx mentioned are all wonderful.

I hope that you can find the support that you need, and that things improve for you both.

Hope to hear from you soon.

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Eugene 

That must be a really difficult situation for you and your son. As someone with lived experience with chronic illness, I can say that getting a diagnosis and releasing the expectations I had for my health and life, etc, were all wrapped up in a lot of grief, frustration and apathy. I did feel that not too many people understood at the time, especially when I was struggling with losing things, like identity/autonomy. Looking back, I could see why I struggled with things emotionally too, due to the undiagnosed physical aspects, and although the proper diagnosis was a relief it also had a certain bitterness in it which took a bit of time to process. Maybe it could be mixed emotions for your son? 

@Jynx has offered some wonderful ideas, and I agree that looking after yourself is the first step.

Hope you are able to chat further with your son and come to an understanding about what/if supports you can provide. Have you asked him what he needs from you? Can you both come to an understanding of what a mental health challenge is and when it might need intervention/therapy/reaching out?

Hope you're doing ok x

[Eugene]

Thankyou everyone. I am trying to get him to get help through GP. I have also asked him to contact neurologist as the drug he takes for his epilepsy has side effects that he definitely presents with. I am taking a step back after suggesting these things and will just check in on him occasionally. 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Eugene 

Hope you're well? Just checking in with you to see how things are going for you and your son?

Also, a forums tip, if you want someone to know that you've replied to the conversation, just type the @ symbol in and a dropdown box with the conversation's thread contributors will appear. Then just click and select the name you want to include, ie @Eugene , @defaultusername @Ainjoule @Jynx 

All the best 🙂

[tyme]

Hey @Eugene ,

I see you have deleted your post. Is everything okay?

We'd love to hear from you.

[Eugene]

I’m ok. Things seem to b getting worse w/ my son. He didn’t meet the criteria for NSW mental health support. I suppose he wasn’t honest. On the upside neurologist has altered  his meds which hopefully will help with the anger. The med he is on has awful side effects and he seems to tick all the box’s for major side effects. He has appt with gp I am determined to go with him so the whole truth can b spoken about. Thanks for caring and hope your all doing ok.