Trying makes it worse

[Appleblossom]

@maddison Whilst working on an environmental project I yelled once for about 15 secs at a guy on a trail bike churning up our plants.  A random guy working with us called me bolshie ... he said it with a friendly tone and I thought fair enuff.  I was in my trying to manage my tears so as not to cause embarrassment stage but mostly busy as a mum, certainly not routinely combative, as Dr google sed.  ... lol ... I think it has a slightly different meaning used by people leaning left ... I will not use that about myself as people would get the wrong idea.  I saw it as a good thing, that I experienced a transient flash of annoyance and could vocalise.  I really mean I had been silenced a lot, so singing in choirs is my way of keeping the mouth somewhat functioning for speech ... but not always connecting the words up right ... if I am not reading them off a page ,,,lol.

Hugs @EternalFlower good that you liked your art... one plus.

[Former-Member]

What are your favourite art styles @Appleblossom @EternalFlower @maddison? I kind know @maddisons! I would love to see some pics of your art @EternalFlower, if you are up for sharing?

Xx

[maddison]

You have so much colour @Appleblossom & I mean that in more than one way!

I can imagine colourful scenario with the shrub offender. And thus the birth of bolshie.

I see plethora of colours with you. Many perspectives & overlapping ideas, about different ideas - oh, I am recalling you were a teacher - yes it makes sense. You are very good teacher.

I am not an off the cuff speaker either.... By the time I think of the perfect thing to say - the moment has long gone!

Actually, I'm finding these forums are building my communication skills. I always kind of admired those people who could speak their mind at any given moment. - or unencumbered in the ways I am. My hm has those qualities. I'm pretty sure men get a head start, but whatever - he still is above most when it comes to seeing beyond the bs - including the illusion that 'silence is golden' (I love silence - completely different subject) 

@EternalFlower 👁️Ñ0️⃣ Ür heaps 💪. 💟

[Former-Member]

Just checking in @EternalFlower 💜

Hope you have been able to find some escape tonight. Thinking of you X

[Appleblossom]

@maddison Maybe I could call her my inner Warrior Woman ... Athena or Zena or something.  Because anger turned inward had been such a big theme in my family it was interesting that I turned my anger on a motor bike that I also have positive associations with in a different context. 

@EternalFlower Hope you are alright.  We are on your side.

@Former-Member I am not much of an artist but I posted a lot of art when I had been on the forums about a year, after someone mentioned a site (artstack) that I found I really liked but unfortunately has been closed. I found the art really helped calm me down and attached to certain images and felt a sense of identity with the pictures.  Art was also important growing up My family valued a range of arts and music.

Red can be for LOVENibbles in old art ....Some art with Coffee?

Basics and Nature: food and drink and flowers.

[Former-Member]

These are beautiful @Appleblossom. The arts are the feel good things of the world. We don't find too much around us these days that is created just for beauty - not for purpose. 

Maybe we could start another Art group?

[Appleblossom]

Do you mean a new art thread?

@Former-Member 

I would probably join and would like to see others thoughts and choices about art and how it effects their mental health.

@EternalFlower Gentle Hugs

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower I was thinking of you through the night.

I hope I did not say anything to upset you.

Please let us know that you are alright.

I can change my posts if needed.

[maddison]

These are gorgeous @Appleblossom you are proper professional. Are these all oil paint?

I really like them all & I see different things in each. I won't go into all my observations. Things I love the most are the way the roses blur in the background...& Foreground... It looks so magical.

My other love is the blueberries - the whole painting. I really just love that colour combo.

Art is wonderful. Thankyou for sharing!

[maddison]

Echoing others on here @EternalFlower you have been in my thoughts... Working on a project that is about me...

Unsure of entire details of your confrontation tomorrow with bully @Appleblossom - I'm with you!

I think you said cpl days ago - that you hope I find what I'm looking for.

Initially, I felt your true kindness to me & gratitude to you. Then I started to worry (sort of) ....wait... What Do I want?

I think inside, each of us knows exactly what we want - I'm not sure why there is this apparent disconnect between our inside self & outside self.

Like, I know that my inside self knows what I need & want.

My outside self (silly brain) is more cloudy?

Anyway, it was a really good question that was posed to me. Little answers have been appearing in that silly brain over these few days.

Peace yo😄 xx