Thank you for your beautiful supportive intelligent post. @Dimity Yes, kids can pick up on social hierarchies pretty young.
I am just grateful that you have an idea what I am talking about when I mention books or music, because most of my life it was been hard to find even those kinds of conversation. I have just a few stored in my mind. I became really isolated. I abhor the use of music as social pretension, but sadly it has been a flaw in music and culture a lot of the time. Including the endless brilliance or prodigy conversations. weary sigh. Hope my sharing of the Purcell didnt overly trigger you. I just bought the sheet music for trio and piano a couple of years ago. Its still my mild vice buying music and books. But I rarely spend more than $100 pa, often much less, if zero dollars.
The so called MH services tend to dismiss music as a quirk in my son and are mainly interested in pathologising him and not give his culture much credit. Music is what he picked up from my attempts at providing goodness and quality demonstrating love. He could have gone the sciencey side or the practical side. He has done a little of the sporty stuff, but mainly settled on gymn and hiking. I am hoping he does more hiking. I really tried to offer all 3 children a broad range of activities and positive experiences.
Yesterday he did invite my nephew to do Shakespeare readings, when he was visiting, which was good.
I am really not doing well, so I think it is more likely to be crawling and grovelling through Christmas.
I am so triggered by the all the recontacting, of the nieces and nephews, even though they are not doing the wrong thing. It brings up the traumas of the 2 brothers' deaths and I have to say, all the memories of my 3 sisters in law, their mothers, bullying styles. Yes, I gave them all excuses for their pain and suffering, but they dont seem to have the capacity to respect it. As I said to my son, this morning. My half Chinese nephew was robbed of his relationship with my son and I, over the last 20 years. Maybe they can make it up. I pray they can. He did have the perspicacity to admit that often migrants presume all Australians had it easy. It shouldnt have been his realisation. It should have been his mother's responsibility to be GRATEFUL and for her to apologise. And maybe if she wasnt so bullheaded, the marriage may have worked, and we could all have lived happily ever after. Just too many brick walls put up. That nephew got a grand piano that he doesnt play. Yep I hate music for show. Honestly, I have seen how people love to pathologise others, both in and out of the services, and fail to look inside their own hearts and minds and soul.
Anyway, I am feeling pretty mad, bitter and twisted, but always apparently too sane to be locked up. Too many jumbled emotions, too many jumbled cultures and people and life stories.
I will try gardening and go back to playing that Purcell and my Bach, Neri, Vivaldi, Church Carols, and some Swedish jazz dude, that I am playing atm.
Honestly, I needed all my books to find the words that made any sense of my life, and the music to connect to the feelings. That is apparently the best outcome for some as CALD as I. Yes, and we shouldnt always have to do the cultural cringe, which is something I learned about Australian culture whilst doing a music pedagogy training....
I was just a disabled private piano teacher, who had the dignity of crawling to her chair in her loungeroom, sitting up, and not having to drive to work anymore, from 1990.
@AuntGlow @AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow
