Feeling caged up

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP finding a psych is tricky. I know a lot of psychs do telehealth after COVID, that's always an option if you feel like distance is an issue. My psych isn't close to where I live, so I mostly have done telehealth. I've seen her in person before, but I typically don't go in person.

Mania can definitely cause impulsive spending, it feels so good at the time, but the regret eventually sinks it. It's sunny here too but cold, I am thinking of going for a walk later in the afternoon, I feel like I need to get some movement.

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer  At the moment I’m struggling to reach out to a psychologist even on telehealth. My goal for today is to have a bath. After lunch. At least I have finally paid off my debt. It is a huge relief.

Hope you are feeling better today.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP a bath sounds like a good idea. I’m glad to hear you were able to pay off the debt, finances can be so stressful.

I’m not sure if I’m feeling better, but I am better than I was when I was in a depressive episode with mixed features. The depression still persists, but it’s more manageable coping with plain depression

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer Glad to hear you are a bit better. Haven’t dragged myself into the bath yet. Maybe later. My cat is sitting on my lap. Keeping me warm. Had a horrible pimple on my thigh that has burst. Had to put two band aids on it. 

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP do you notice changes in mood with seasonal changes? I felt like my manic symptoms were starting to peak as the days got longer. I at least got it under control, i was in that place for a while. I would probably say depression dominates for me. In the last year I’ve either had pure depression or depression with mixed features as part of my bipolar. I’ve had manic episodes, though I got the more milder hypomanic form, pure they don’t come in a pure form anymore.

What kind of cat breed do you have? I love cats, they’re so cute, feisty and adorable.

I hope your pimples heal up.

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer  Yes my mood can change with the seasons but I need something to trigger depression. Mania comes from poor sleep. I have bipolar disorder I not mixed moods. Mixed moods must be hard.

My cat is a tabby. She has black stripes. She is giving me lots of affection. But sadly she is not eating her food. I can’t find anything she will eat. I worry about her.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP with time I feel like I’ve progressed into having more mixed episodes. I used to get hypomania episodes without depression, but not for a while. I’ve also had hypomania that progressed into mixed after some time. Lack of sleep is a big mania trigger, I struggle to sleep when it’s so bright outside.

She sounds adorable. Have you had the chance to take her to the vet?

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer No I haven’t taken her to the vet. She eats some of the food. I’m a nervous wreck driving so going to the vet is hard and I find I can’t get her into the carrier. At least she eats some food.

I get hypomania if I don’t sleep but I take meds for sleep so sleep ok. I’ve only had psychosis once when I had my first episode and didn’t know I was sick. But I’m in pure depression right now. Have been sleeping a lot. My sister really hurt me and blames me.

[creative_writer]

@GezzaP poor thing. I hope she starts to feel better soon 💖.

Some of the bipolar meds do make you drowsy. I’ve been sleeping better since I’ve had dosage increase, but then the trade off is brain fog. I think I’m also in pure depression rn. Not like the crippling SI one, but still feeling low. Maybe I need to give myself a bit more time for recent changes to kick in.

How your sister is treating you isn’t fair. Have you tried taking a step away from her messages?

[GezzaP]

@creative_writer My dose was reduced so I shouldn’t be feeling tired. Maybe I didn’t sleep as well as I thought. I do get up a lot to pee.  I read her texts hoping she will calm down she has a foul temper. Maybe I should stop but I can’t help it.